tarataatarataatarataa..

ahh..it's been a while since i last blogged here..
got a new blog in frenster, weeelll.. once i put my hands on niu things..
i got seasonal buzz, addiction, whatever you call it..
and been leaving my ol'faithful'blog.. only for a while though.. rrr kinda running out of things to write..
but i'll be back and putting sumting here eventually...

so for now..i'm just chuckin my face here.. well i've learned sumting from my cozin liloiiii... tat NARCISM ROCCKZZ hahaha.. so tat's kinda my rr.. new year resolution..too bad!!! bytheway..how's my niu hairdooo..... *wink*

two arrogant people talking

so the conversation went lyke this...

"just heard from around. u are happy now"
"never been happier"
"happier than when you are with me?"
"you and i, rock bottom, the end, nothing."

(he laughs so loud. confidentely)
"you are not getting over me yet. will never"
"you are the one who will never get over me"
"that's why you and i are meant for each other"
"you, might be the one who turned my lyfe upside down.
but him, put it all back in its place."

(he laughs even louder)
"oh well. just trying to shoot my luck there.
but know what? you are truly something"
"You never changed. know what? you used to be more than something.
everything that i ever wanted"
"sincerely, i'm happy for that lucky bastard"
"that's the nicest thing i've ever heard from you"

"take care, carrie"
"i guess, no more mr. big huh?! take care, you"

lebaraaannn....

well.. eventhou i aint celebrating lebaran..there's nothing wrong writing about it anyway huh? since i've been exposed to the hype of the events in the last 30 days.. you know! it's been quite influencing in a way or two...

here's the deal...

you turn on the tv, all 10 channels are doing "lebaran special", starting from the religious tv series (read: sinetron), to talkshow, to berita mudik, to religious music..my goodness even MTV is doing it...now tat opick javanese song is played in my head constantly...

you read your newspaper and there go all the mudik news, puasa news, and of course the BBM news!!

and... all your employees, the satpamzz, and tukang parkir, and preman2, and pedagang kaki lima who kept coming everyday asking for THR...

and every 3:30 for the past 30 days u heard the sound of bedug in the middle of your sweet dream, and top of tat.last nitee.. people are marching ALL NIGHTS with gendang and panci dipukul2.. all along the way of sukajadi...gogoakaann, teriak2..nyanyi2 and so on

at first, i was feeling uncomfortable with all the extravaganza around me, but heyy my momma said

the point is to take the lesson from everything tat u can not control

so since there is nothing on tv but "sinema special lebaran" what the fuzz..i'll watch em anywayy... anddd here i am..addicted to BAJAJ BAJURI and EXTRAVAGANZA *aminggg...the funniest man or err...halfman on earth...and Tora sudiro..goodness!! too cute!!*.. and i listened to AA GYM as well as taking notes from sume wisdoms tat he shared....

okk... so i spent 7 years of my lyfe, my growing-up phase, in perth.. though the city itself is not as wild as LA or Vegas,, D'oh! not even close to jakarta or sydney... everyday i was exposed to the western culture... i started reading Dolly at 12 and read cosmopolitan at 16.. i love "sex and the city" shows till death will do us part..hang out wif bule every now and then..and confess! i dated bule couple tymes... so.. eventhou i live a chirstian lyfestyle... some influence from the culture snapped my way of thinking and my way of life.

what i'm trying to tell is..by watching the sinetron lebaran in which all the protagonist are portraying the way of living as "orang saleh" according to moeslim teachings... i was thinking to myself..man i thought i was allright.. dammit i am so farrr from being saleh... *all my ladies in perth and my bebehh in spore...say UH-HUH!!*

apparentally what appear to be accepted norms in western lifesyle are still unacceptable in eastern culture. while all the youth down here are trying hard to live the western lifestyle, i honestly think that it is not the right thing to do. well, things such as;

treating your parents and elderlies like friends, to the extent that you shout to them when you come into disagreements (i do that)

alcohol is a party essential (i love that)

public displayed affection with your boyfriend ( Dops! do that as well!!)

the living-like-there-no-tomorrow-attitude tat cause you

not paying attention on your study of career development

failure is tolerable to a very great degree..while drop out from school

is untolerable in eastern culture, westernisation has caused it to become more acceptable

pay anything by credit card...

eastern culture teaches you to save, and pay everything hard cash

now it's all nyicill and you can afford the whole world today

...again..back to the life as an orang saleh.. what is being saleh anyway?

can we become half-saleh bytheway? we are good to people, doing amal, but smoke?

are we saleh?

...quite a point to ask for this time of lebaran right :)

talking predestination at sahur time

i'm not a regular insomnic
it's just that today is one of those days
tried too many things,
from fone to tv
from books to internet
even lying on bed
did not put me to sleep
then i heard that azan magrib
*or whatever the sahur thing called?!
goodness me
3:33
anyway,
kenapa yah bisa ga bisa tidur gini?
have i been thinking about us too much?

you and i

funny how i thought,
we could never be together
but whom do i have to blame?
we met accidentally anyway
God intervenes
and just call it predestination

i've been taught that salvation is predestined

but let's talk about it later...

been thinking about what you've just said over the fone
about your so called vision, something like a long term plan for you
gurls, dont you like it when your man said he has a vision for you?
strikes me inside out like a high volt thunder
the first guy, or the only one who will ever
send me to the land of no speech
"i'm grooming you!"

there are only 2 male species on this planet
that i know of
who "create" or build, or doing modification to details to their gurlfren
the two of you are the same species though
my brother and you

while some people oppose the idea of changing the person that u love
and live by the principle "accept them the way they are"
i am all for it. yes. all the way. uh-huh!
since both of these guys are extraordinary people
whom i believe,
one day will conquer the world
hey!
why not take a lesson or two from them
why not becoming one who can suit them, who can facilitate their potential the most

why not becoming the person he wants you to be

why not becoming the "great woman" behind the great man
since these two guys are my boyfriend and my brother
again what can i say
it's predestination

wednesday afternoon, while i'm sick

ok, so i worked too hard in the past 3 days and wuala, last nite at 1 a.m. my whole body shivered, and here i am now, totally sick! Well, being sick is not that bad anyway, while my lil bro hav to be stuck, gawe di toko the whole day, i have the priviledge of dimanjain sama semua orang today hehehe

tat's the different of getting sakit di indo and di perth..kalo di indo, banyak yang ngurusin.. dari pagi udah special dimasakin, disuapin, segala macem diambilin, every1 at home is taking turn to sit by you bed, holding your hand and manjain me-self, and of course the best part is dipijitin.. sampe tidur hehehe if i'm still in perth, i would be lucky enuf if i know what sort of medicine i should be taking, otherwise, i would just be lying dead on my pillow all day, menghibur diri by thinking tat i would lose a couple pounds by the tyme gw sembuh hehe

anyway, i've been thinking about soul-mate lately. I've been having a full-on conversation wif my gals, and all of us agree that everybody has A (singular) soul-mate. By the term soulmate, we dont mean same-sex best friends, but one whom happens to be your other half. According to our theory, somehow someway, you are going to meet this one person who fits you perfectly. The chemisty is great, the two of you are connected in terms of feelings and emotions. when you were thinking of calling the other person,, the next second you know, he or she suddenly calls you out of nowhere. You feel the same way at each other. You finish each other sentence, the other person is always saying things that you actually want to say. All these so-called "incident moments" also dont only happen once. Moreover, to you, the other person is totally perfect for you. you love the way this person talks, walks, thinks, even tis person hobbies, smells, and flaws seem to be perfect for you.

Now let me pull out the big gun, well if you meet this person already. does she or he have to be "the one"? what if the person who connects with us in everyway, is just meant to pass our lives, make his or her hallmark, then leave sweet memories? What if you soulmate is not the one, eventually? I couldn't help but wonder.....

early saturday morning

the tyme in my desktop is 3:33

i have to wake up at 5, so quick nap is not a good idea. Oh well, let's kill the tyme with writing a thing or two scatter thoughts.

My everdearest friend, known as " a gurl who loves to smile" : Congratulations! remember ur promise. I have to be the FIRST to know hehehe

you know what gurl, what u have been through with Gibran had taught me a lot of things. (Remembering the fact that you and i are sharring the same thinking pattern) We are the species who always want to do the right thing, according to our definition. we want to be "a very lurus gurl", so play it safe all the tyme. we always try our best to forecast the future, creating boundaries, dont want to go out frm our comfort zone, refused to be hurt, therefore we stay naive as we are. (True?)

But hey, after following your so-sinetron-i-cant-believe-it story for almost a year (rite?), you have opened my eyes, about not being too naive, of not having to be pressured to follow the customs and ethics that we have lived by.

In making this statement, i am open to controversy and opposition, but hey! sometimes we cannot avoid the fact that we are being in the position of the bad gurls. Not saying, yes be proud of it and live your life that way forever. What goes around comes around, what you sow is what you reap.

It is just that, somehow in some circumstances, as mere mortal, we made incorrent (not wrong though) choices, which lead to undesirable outcome, which cause regret, which cause us to live with the consequences. And sometimes we wish we could turn back the time when we could slightly modify our choice, but since it cant be done, we wish for second chance. And well, usually second chance doesnt come as easy as the first knock on the door. Second chance needs a fight, and there will always be people who will get injured as a result of fighting. Whoever gets injured is always portrayed as the victim, and too bad, that leaves the people who are not injured to have no choice but to be called the "bad person"

we cant forever be naive. Life is too short to please everyone. Yeah, if u dare to bear the consequence, well challenge and risk are calling. Afterall, life is all about free will, making choices, rise and fall, making mistakes and learn from it, growing stronger through pain. It is meant to be fulfilled to the fullest huh :)

my kryptonite

alrite, since i thought visiting starsign website is not a really positive thing to do, if it starts to become a habit, as i told my good friend today, to stop an addiction, get a new addiction. well for me, instead of letting a new addiction get a hold on me, i got back to my old addiction. I returned to my numero uno visited website, after friendster hahaha, www.vuitton.com

after hours of browsing, i found the perfect item to be added to my wish list, cross my finger, hopefully my papi reads this blog and the wish might come true A.S.A.P or else, there is no harm to leave this blogspot page at his office "unintentionally", rite gurls? hehehe

anyway, debby and bobby if u read this page, look at tat fine purse!! so damn fine huh?! merahnya jg cakep banget..tp yang putih ini kereeenn banget yaa..yunki jg suka pisan siah..duhh mau mau mau mau mau!!

mauuu aaahhh....mau ke jakarta ah tis wiken!! ajakinn papii..then we could drop by di PS..thenn may bee...may beee may beee!!!

Christinee...tau gaa..kmrn me ke PI and saw ur mini monogram..ada yang baru..cakepnya edaaann..cantik sekali bentuknya kaya kubus gituh..talinya kaya baly, dua warna terus ada kantonya dua...kamu banget euy!! sangat sporty *tp gw jg mau..tapiii mahaaalll* duehh

ohhh weelll...the more i see the website, the more desperate i become...truly, there's olweis be sumthing tat u have to admit is your biggest weakness, your kryptonite, it can be a thing or a person or a moment or a feeling or watever. everytime you come into contact with your kryptonite, u just make a fool of urself, wanting it badly...couldnt sleep at nite, smile on ur face when u talk abt the thing, and when finally u get the thing, even the bt-es saddest mood cant hold u down no more..well may i introduce to u, my kryptonite, brand du franc, the two powerful words, Louis Vuitton

my goodness this thing gets me addicted!!

yes a you can read on the title above...
i planned to stop reading those star sign bulls*** but then
i was curious hauhauhauah

especially...now gurls, pay attention..when i landed on a website with a title...
"MEN: blame his star sign" ok..here's the reference if u are as curious as moi hahaha
(http://www.ivillage.co.uk/relationships/dating/men/articles/0,,139_572742-1,00.html)

anyway gurls...i've done the research for u the worst amongst all is this species hahaha ..

"whether he is tall, dark, and handsome or short, blond, and chubby, a Scorpio man is idealistic, passionate, and loyal. He will mesmerise you with his candid, purposeful stare and capture your heart with his magnetic charm. He is selfish. Never mind that you are married to him or in a serious relationship. The Scorpion's idea of commitment is showing up for dinner most of the time. His emotion switch is set at sub-zero, and he won't hesitate to be unfaithful until he's dead.

Scorpio is terrified of deep emotional dependence on just one person, so, in his usual ass-backward way, he screws around precisely to avoid intimacy. A male Scorpion has two reasons for living. The first is power. The second is control. He would control fate if he could - and some try. He will usually be a good provider because his desire for power and control drives him to become successful in his chosen profession. He's so jealous, possessive, and sarcastic that you will be tempted to poison his oatmeal. There's no handling a Scorpion. You either put up with him or run like hell. "

huummm...i think i'd been stung by scorpionz before..and as far as i could remeber.. onez of my most intense relationshipz ever.

virgo-erz

i've just realised, tat i've been wishing many "happy birthday" in the past 7 days, and checking my bday reminder, i have plenty to come, especially in this month of september.

Funnily enuf, these friends of mine, whose birthday are plotted on the month of september, are not my "hi-bye", casual, "so-so", "sumtymes we talk sumtimes we dont" kinda friends. Almost all of them are my special some-onez. Being a curious person that i am, i browsed thru friendster and saw who are lining up on the birthday list this month...walaa..3 of my bestfriends (adel, xen2, tine ---> you so have to make a makan2 susulan for me!), then 2 very close friends, an ex boyfriend and 5 of those whom you have huge crush on. i was like "What the..?!?!"

anyway, i'm not a fan of star sign reading but since this is 2 am in the morning, and friendster started to bore me.. well, why not?! i typed google.com, then..humm what shud i put there?? star sign virgo..then thousand of websites appeared before me..and i found an interesting one hehehehe

the title goes by the name of : star sign compability reading: Virgo and Aquarius

the first sentece of the article goes like this : "When Virgo and Aquarius join together in a love match, they bring out either the best or worst in one another" ..*thinking...thinking...thinking*

Virgo are simply very discriminating, waiting for that one special, perfect person who will meet your high expectations and specific requirements. *christine, irine..say Amen to tis one!! muahahaha* Aquarius, on the other hand, wants to experience the whole world as a lover and can't imagine having to settle down with just one for life.*tojipppp my bro...tis is my defence man!! it's written in the sky haha it aint my fault bra!!* Freedom is a big issue for Aquarius.

While this might not be the best combination for a romantic relationship, it can be an excellent connection for a meeting of the minds.Virgo is essentially level-headed with something of a flair for statistics and analysis *tis is very true of evry1 of them...they are all think too much!!*

Virgo is highly selective and prone to inquiries and examinations. Probably, Aquarius will find Virgo to be practical, methodical and in possession of natural money handling abilities. Aquarius is friendly and likes people. But if the people are emotionally needy, then Aquarius needs space. Aquarius can march to the beat of a different drummer. Aquarius can have an eccentric temperament and can be just a bit strong, original, independent, unpredictable and contrary

Virgo likes to do things for people and tends to be more of a giver than a taker ---> look gurls..look for a virgo partner hahaha

Aquarius can become a fabulous communicator, perceptive, intelligent and highly intuitive. *ok here is a line to feed my narcisism beast tonite*

the two of you can enjoy an intellectual bond that stimulates and educates you. You can open whole new worlds to each other and will enjoy talking about everything under the Sun --> tui tui !!

babyy...this one in especially for youu hahahahh read on!!

"Born with a superior attitude and an eye for improving everything except his own conduct. At his worst, he's a classic chauvinist, dismissing what he doesn't believe and believing only what's convenient to his point of view. His one talent for conversation is a non-stop string of criticisms about every facet of your existence, from the way you wear your hair to your coupon-clipping ability. And he won't hesitate to insult your intelligence by demonstrating just how to accomplish either task. At his best, he has the kind of predictability that will give you a headache. He'll expect dinner promptly at six, where you will exchange news of the day's events. Then he'll spend an hour with the children, who will go to bed exactly at eight. Next comes an hour of telling you how to improve your housekeeping abilities. Finally, he'll retire to his home office where he'll spend the rest of the evening mumbling over the bills or developing a plan for your self-improvement"

hahahah...no offence yeah...i'll blame the star for giving u tis personality trait!!

confession

u dont have to be my close frens to see tat my admiration and err...love for me mum is a little bit overbearing ehehe...

wat can i do?? she's just too perfect and too lovable hehe if u've met her u'll fall in luv head over heelz instantly wif her as well, i guarantee....

anyway, she's the one in pink, nex to her best fren, then the one in red is my sis in law to be, at the back is my lil baby sistah, then my second mum hehehe and in case u forget, i'm the one in red and white *wink*

as a person she is just amazingly beautiful, not mentioning "bersinar" bcoz of Holy Spirit inside.. trus she is very strong, vry modiz..as u can see frm the pic huh..she's a trendsetter..very smart, hew funny she makes us laugh til we cry,a people person, evryone best fren, a great listener and advisor... anyway, her best trait is tat she honours the Lord...

me and yunkie hav olweis said if we are about to suceed big tymes in the future, tat's obviously bcos she sows too many seeds into the kingdom of God...therefore, we are the ones who will reap the great harvest ahhahaha

she is a perfect role model for a wife and a mom...eventhough she cant cook ahahaha she's better in shopping and make-up than in the kitchen..omygozz!! oh well, she's a little bit terlalu sabar though, sampai jadi tertindas ama me and yunkie yg emang suka semena2 ama mamiii..eheheheh apalagi kalo udah dengerin curhatnya kta orang..*wat a mum to do if the two kiddos are very special in term of goreng-adat nya hehehehe*

but we love her to death, and she is the one person tat we want to protect and of course, eventually make her the happiest mum on earth :D

before sunrise

tell you what, tis is 4 am in the morning, a fine saturday morning
location is yunkie'z room, he is asleep after eating too much lasagna
while i am stil here, dont even feel sleepy by bits
funny, i havent consume even a single dosage of caffeine today
well then, there must be countless unresolved issues,
questions, thoughts, "what if" kinda scenario in my head

well, guess tis is just the moment where my melancholy
temprament kicks in..*why 4 am in the morning?! D'oh!*
since i've been dating a perfect melancholy for almost half a year, by now
i guess i'm slowly turning into one, i'm becoming an over-the-top thinker
though i am a choleric in term of character, my thinking pattern is so much
showing plegmaticism <--- is there such a word?..but yeah, guess the bf
has changed me quite dramatically in the past 6 mths..
*gw diajak argumen terus sih..salah sendiri :)*

anyway, if u have been involved in an msn session wif me lately,
i must have asked you in regards of your opinion about
boundaries in dating
dont get me wrong here, tis is nothing to do with the three
letter word beggining with "s"
this is more like a dating ethic kinda question
my fave author, JohnC maxwell had written a book
there is no such thing as business ethic

to be quite honest wif you, i treat my dating experience
quite as the same as dealing business
in business, you have to set target, mission, vission,
know what u want, know your strength, know what u offer to your
counterpart, handle issue objectivelly, use facts and brain *uh-huh
not heart!* when it comes to decision making, bla bla bla
sounds similar huh?!

therefore, my point is....
if business = dating
if there is no such thing as business ethics
is there such thing as dating ethics?
you know the saying "all is fair in love and war"
confusing huh?!?

ethically saying, what is the measurement of loyalty,
what is the acceptable behaviour? how do you know
if u have crossed the line or just being realistic?
how do you know if your treatment to your partner is good enuf?
what is the perfect benchmarking for decision making?
should we justify the future based on past reputation of a person?

well, if you been thru sum of the situation tat i mentioned above
u must have known clearly wat i've been talkin about

since i have not found the answer myself...i guess for now
i will keep thinking and thinking and thinking.....

kangen sidney

Before i ought to leave the country of Australia, i've been given a priviledge to (finally) visit the eastern state. Omygucci...what else can Australia offers to us other than Garden city shopping centre and cafe makan2??!! ok so from july 2nd to 18th, me and my gurlfrens were enjoying, indulging, overspending our money in the city of sidney. Mygoodnezz we should've moved to sydney ages ago if we knew it look so much like NYC!! it's sooo much more beautiful than perth. i've olweis loved perth all my lyfe, love the coffee, the cakes, the laid back nature of the city, but for those people who were stuck in perth all ur lyfe *just like me*, do urself a favour..get a ticket and fly to sydney. the city is magical.

So we were there, of course for the purpose of attending conference, but other than that we were there to kill ourself, shop til we die!!! "do you want to take picture in darling harbour?" "do you want to do rock climbing" "do you want city tour and concert" "HEW NO!! how can we get to paddington the fastest??" hahaha...i tell you, leave ur stiletto at home gals!! i was walking hundreds block, back and forth...first looking for bally store from QVB, then LV store, then krispy kreme.. omaigoshh...second day, i'll learn my lesson and wore thongs instead, eventhough it was 10 degrees cold outside!!

what else can i tell about syd, humm..the food...geezz all of us gained like 1000 kilos, then got sick bcoz of so unhealthy eating, then the view of the city...we went out at nite, going to hundreds of cafe with million dollar view...so pretty!! then of course that wouldnt happen if we dont have a million dollar tour-guide hahaha.. *tengkyuu KOKO jimii..!!* hahaha

Anyway, more than the shopping and the food, i'm so blessed to go to sydney as I can see people who have changed the world, like bonke, meyer, darlene face to face. Listen to their stories and buy their bookz. it's priceless!! moreover, standing in awe of God in a stadium with 30000 people..it's beyond words to express. I mean, the whole stadium is like a family. We worshipped God together, shouting, praying, jumping up and down..it's just WOW!! and of course meeting new people in attunga camp. the church was amazing, everyone is very friendly and it feels just like at home, the Rockz. Ci trace..o mai Goss u dont know how much it means to me, the hours and hours of talking at the very last minute of our farewell..!!!thank you for pouring ur heart to me!! your advice and impartasi of compassion are totally what i need!!!

arghh when are we going for second round to sydney, gurls?! or should we head to NYC straight away :)

saturday afternoon

been a while since i last blogged hey, anyway it's 4 days counting down to my departure from perth to bandung. hum, mixed feelings, from anxious to blankness, from excitement to fear, but hey a gurl gotta do wat she gotta do.

it's funny when u find that ur day of departure is coming near, suddenly u feel like u are going to miss out loads of good stuff. Good stuff from the other part of you that you are going to leave behind. Suddenly, you found yourself in a strange, unfamiliar environment. You were there before, sharing the commonality, the routine together, but you are no longer a part of it. gosh, it feels weird.

i've been doing a lot of "cathcing up", "farewell get together", all those chit-chat wif my beloved ones, and listening to their stories, how they plan to spend the nex 5 yrs ahead, some are gonna get married, some are being promoted in their jobs, some are thinking to do master degree, bla bla bla. I was thinking to myself, "man, i wouldnt be there to share those journeys with you".

but as me, tine and adel were talking the other nite, we said that we are going to be the type of frens that will go our separate ways, but will regularly meet, maybe once a year, and straight away we can have a good, long, deep, wide, great talk over a cup of coffee. I found that, very comforting though.

the thought that comes after a cup of coffee

lately, just have loads of thoughts about fear
what do you fear, what scares you the most?
it takes sumtymes before i realised my fear of being defeated
i dont want to fail or not winning or being helpless
i want to control my environment
have a plan, and confide in what i am doing
if i am not, then i stressed out
i freak out like a mad woman
in business policy 320 the term is called 'uncertainty avoidance'
you cannot handle ambiguity, your level of tolerance against risk is low
therefore, you are creating institution, rules and boundaries
simply to manage your risk and maximise the chane of winning
but no matter how well you manage your risk
no matter how well your preparation is
F E A R
is a phase that every mere human being has to face
i want to get it over and done with
it is one phase before you really enter the real battle
is a f i g h t a g a i n s t y o u r s e l f
how are you coping with your fear?
how do you overcome it?
i like to sink deep in silence, of course with companionship of caffeine
negative thought keeps rolling around
you keep portraying the worst case scenario
what if i can cope with the consequence, with the defeat?
i'm only one second away from insanity
GOD
and only God whom can reach to me at this critical turning point
been there, done that
in the end, DO THE MOST THAT YOU CAN DO AND EXPECT GOD TO DO THE IMPOSSIBLE
and while you are walking in dark valley,
a coffee partner and a hand that will hold yours are always helpful

omat-omat neng lincew, also known as wedang jahe or kuliah padat

in making money:

accept the fact, that once u know u can make money, greed will come to haunt you
your pride is unleashed and one night victory can kill the humility in you
get a grip on yourself
you never know how ambitious you are,
how cruel you can be
until u taste how good it is to be on top of the world

never tell yourself that u've made it to the top
because there is no such thing as an overnight success
tonight you might be a billionaire
and in a speed of a blink, you realised that u have lost everything that u earned

your true measure of capability
is not defined by how much money you have in your bank account, now
u can be totally broke now
but you know that tomorrow you are going to turn the table arround

no matter how genius you are
no matter how briliant the business idea tat u have
no matter how confidence you are that one day you are going to conquer the world
if you never taste how it feels like to be at the most undignified position
if you never know the term submission to the authority
if you never learn the term dedication in doing the least important job
just screw yourself because you lose the first step already

in relationship:

the key in relationship is time
learn as much, while you still have the time
girls, dont trust every word that your men say until they are being proven overtime
dont declare love if you have not seen your lover at his or her lowest turning point,or the "before" version
dont dwell in toxic relationship, eventhough you still love the person, time will heal
it can be the right person, it is not always the right time

in friendships:

classify your friends in groups
those whom you allow to see your outer skin
those whom you allow to see you heart
those whom you pour your heart into

in studying:

screw your ego, dont pursue education JUST BECAUSE
you think that a particular degree from a particular university will earn you an acknowledgement from your society
your worth is just as far as how much you value your self
pursue your passion and by doing that you know you accomplish the true education

in the search for truth:

keep searching until you have no more doubt in your faith
search with desperation and obsession, i'm serious!
once you find the truth, hold unto it.
keep believing and following eventhough the road is rocky
i can testify that HE never fails me yesterday, today and tomorrow

in enjoying lyfe:

what's the point of having million bucks in your bank account but you are not spending it for your personal pleasure? Asians, learn from bule, will ya!! splurge urself if you dont want to get heart attack too soon

in treating yourself

love yourself, dont be a narcist though, respect yourself, value yourself highly
the way you treat yourself will be a measure on how others will treat you

if you have a low self-esteem
you are more likely to accept bad treatment from others
because your security comes from other people recognition

you deserve to be treated with respect by everyone and anyone
but in return, treat others with respect and show everyone your kind appreciation

walk with your chest up, look at other people in the eye and speak up your mind
dont look down on other people,
even the weakest one has a story to tell
but dont think that other people are too high to reach
even kings have soft side that you can touch

last but not least, live your lyfe to the fullest

road trip kta duluuu banget..

me, adel, ivan and anto

the start of: winter/study week/the fever

me and vanessa (look mum! i'm skinny, seen my cheekbonez?)

the date is the sixth of the sixth (06/06), gloomy monday afternoon, heavy raining outside, me locate at abacus lab, a big mug of homemade espresso and irish cream, filled up with cinnamon shortbread breakfast, listening to my ipod mini: track 112 "Hope" by twista and faith evanz, soundtrack of my latest favourite "coach carter", in which the review i just watched at Dr. Phil show today. I think samuel L jackon is rockingly faboulous. However, the REAL ken carter is smashing all the way. Well, pardon my english language grammar this morning, i screwed everthing this morning because a straight attack of caffeine to my brain just killed my linguistic, literature sense. Bloody hew! i have an awesome day dough!! I slept til 12 afternoon today, due regards to my boyfriend who wouldnt let me sleep "too early", according to his definition. We played with "lie detector" machine last night, hahahaha, he caught me off guard, he found out that all this tyme i lie about my gender. I am not a woman. well, too bad he trust the lie detector much more than he trust me. Anyhow, i was meeting my finest jewel, vanessa tis morning for a quick update on what's been happening to us lately. then i am off to studying til 8 then i will go for dinner at terazza (again!) with my gurls. Fely's engagement is this saturday. cant be more excited!

anyway, i'm about to post something just for an evidence, it think it is more accurate in portraying the truth in comparison to a lie detector. Ladies, have you ever dreamt of that you will be in a relationship in which your man tries to give you as much security as you have demanded? Well in the past 2 months , i've bragged so much about how uncertain, how fragile, how risky and how "there's no future" for my relationship. I have mentioned before as well, that my bf and I are too stubborn, too arrogant, too proud with our ego and pride, too selfish and too manipulative towards each other. I've never had this kind of relationship before, where we have to argue in everything to settle an issue. I've always thought that there is no way we could make this work, it is just a matter of tyme that we would go in our separate ways.

However, funnily enuf, the more we argue, the more we play manipulative games with each other, the deeper the feeling is growing, the stronger the attachment becomes day by day. There has not been any guy that i know that can relate to me, argue with me intesively to this level before hahahaha. This relationship brings me headache big tymes, but it also brings out the best of me. Knowing this deep feeling is growing inside of me, i was afraid. ever been in a situation where you know that you are going to fall? i refuse to fall, therefore my brain intervenes to undertake risk management hahaha.

Tymes and tymes again i throw my arguments and analysis on why we should have ended this relationship as soon as possible. The circumstances are not supportive, then again there are differences in our circle of culture and mindframe, there are differences in our values, principles plus the uncertainty of our future, our characters and personality that will hurt each other unconsciously bla bla bla. In short, this relationship is too hard. let's break up!

I have to praise my boyfriend, for not giving up on me, YET! hahaha he knows how to answer allboth my reasonable and unreasonable point of view and he's being emotionally mature. I have not find this quality in many men that i met in my lyfe hahaha. He knows what he is doing, what he wants and how to get what he wants. HE knows where he stands and know his expectations and limitations. Being a mere human being, he has done the best of what a man can possibly do to fight for a relationship. the key words here being: commitment, willingness to change, to learn and to give, humility, understanding, acceptance and trust. Babe, i have to publish this thing here, because i trust you but i dont trust you. you know what i mean hahaha if everything that u have said to me is a lie and that it is just a part of your game, then i'll let the world know. but if u are truly a man of character, i'll let the world knows too, that i'm trully blessed to have you. For this very present tyme, i have decided tat tis guy is worth it to fight for, and the rest, just say that time will tell.

if you do know

if you do know the answer, please let me know

if you do know the end of this crossroad
please just go and i dont mind waiting here

if you know how deep the feeling that i have towards you by now
then please,
dont question me anymore

if you know that for me to be with you,
i have chosen to take the rocky roads
then please,
don't justify yourself, just stand by my side would you?

if you do know that when i am with you
i cant trust my brain anymore
i cant even trust my heart
but then you also know that i cant trust you

if you know that whom you hurt the most is me,

would you please, at least dont make me cry tonight

if you do know that the molecules in my head numerous and uncontrollable
you know that i do not need neither understanding nor reasonable doubt
draw me close to you,
and i know i'll be alright

another extraordinary day

ON sUNdaY..!! i went to church twice...The ROCKS in the morning and Riverview church at nite
Great worship, Great sercmon...feel like i'm being re-charged all the way :)
moreover..my bf is coming to the morning church wif me...hehehehe well babe,if u read tis posting, just know tat eventhough i didnt say anything...wat u did was beyond words to express *ehm*
ouu and i luv the pink lilies as well..thank you thank you :) they are more beautiful than white lilies,babe :)

terusss at nite..i went to riverview wif christine, bobz and debby...then private dinner @ terazza wif the one and only miz tine..
di lagu-nya "my boo" kan dibilang..."there's always that one person that will olweis have ur heart" humm to me it is not any guys whom i have met, it will olweis be tis gurlfren whom no matter what she does or no matter how long we would not seeing each other, she is olweis be a person whom i look up to. she is a sister tat i never had :)
eventhough we are not sharing things as often as we used to do, at anytime when we have a private room for two, it is definetely full on, deep, heart to heart, berbobot converstation yea :)

i dont know why yah..cman mgkn because we've been thru load of shit together..terus even when we are not seeing each other every so often..we are still going thru same type of shit..so i feel koneksiong somehow when i share my stuff wif u...sedi nih entar if i dun have a "tine" figure in bandung :( oh well...entar kalo kta udah sama2 tajir..we visit each other every so often huh :)

on MoNDaY..i was driving in my car, and literally crying to God becos i feel tat i screwed up evriting..geez i was planning a trip to sydney,. need to save up to pay my bills.together with countless parking fines, then wat happen just caught up in a tabrakan..dammnit how would i pay for all of those stuff...I was asking God, Lord if U ask me to cast all my worries on You, tis is the time to do it. becoz according to my humanly brain, i would have enuf money to pay them altogether. I just said to the Lord..God just surprised me and meet my need.

Guess wat happen..i won 4000 dollar!! muahahaha....out of the blue, i caught the 92.9 fugitive who walked in m2000 today ..can u believe it..more than just getting the money..i become an overnite celeb hahahaha i went to 92.9 office...got interviewed..*the interview was craP..if u listen to the advertising on radio by me...feel free to laugh..it was a total crap..but who cares!! i was on air for God sake hahaha and i got a huge check and a bottle of champagne...thx God!! well i have to spare the money wif my boss becos he helped me to catch the fugitive...we split the task..he got rid of all the competitors and i chased after the guy..so it's only fair (not!) to share the prize rite ahhahahaha but hey in the end of the day, me and chandra learnt a lesson or two as well...see, this game is on for the people of perth to participate..there are hundreds of people who chase after the fugitive on tat day...we felt hopeless after hours of trying to catch the guys because there were simply to many competitors around. but chandra kept saying to me..."kalo udah berkat loe mah ga bakal kemana" and it did truly happened. eventhough there were many people who saw the fugitive and they tried to stop him,. the guy refused to stop driving and stopped EXACTLY in front of me... i was shaking..it was truly happening guys..it's like..no matter how hard others try..if it's yours..then it is yours hahahah AMEN...

the very next day after tat!! can u believe it!!! i CRASHED another car...O MAI GUCCI!!! tis time it is truly my fault...when the traffic lite turned green...gua udah ngegas padahal mobil di depan maish setop...and VOILA!! bemper dia bonyok and another bill for me... so yeah..bye bye 2000 !!

at the end of the day, i was smilling and crying ahhahaha i am thankful for all the things that i've been thru...it's a lesson for me to learn..Tuhan yang memberi Tuhan jg yang mengambil..padahal i've planned to strade along the street of subiaco and buy a piece of betina liano or Wayne cooper..but yeah...seperti alkitab bilang...waktuku belon tiba hahahahah udah ahh pokoknya i'm still laughing and still thankful

tengkyuuu tengkyuuu...

argh when i tot it's going to stay pretty as it is...it is smashed!!!
i have to clarify for the zillion tymes hahahaha...IT WAS NOT MY FAULT!!!
seriously! you can ask the driver of car tat i smashed haahhaha

and being so me...who knows nothing about everything...
i quickly jumped from the car...got a pen and paper...
ask for driving license and writing down all the plate numbers of the poor guy whose back bumper
is totally ruined bcoz of the tabrakan beruntun
i said to him, ok i'm going to contact ur insurance company, and he just politely answered me
well, actually i have to be the one who make the claim to ur insurance company...because u are behind me
but then it wasnt my fault...i thought to my self..so i decided to call the guru,Chandra!!

actually i just knew..no matter whose fault it is..whoever whose position is behind is liable for damage
being the likiat person tat we are, me and chandra, we tried to look for taktik2 to make me not having to pay..but anyway tat's another story later

anyway, i turned out not to be so dumb abt tis..i call bmw road assistance bcos i said my car was in a very very terrible condition, everything breaks down...and in a minute they arrange a tow truck for me..then i called adel to pick me up...ternyata diah ga dateng sendiri..bawa pasukan gitoh..
ada tine, feli, ivan en martin..ampir mo ada moni sama ein hahahaha tis is wat they siad
"kalo lince yang tabrakan ga cukup satu orang doang yang dateng" ahhahaha
which is beri beri trueee. hahahahahaha i dont know how to open the kap mesin..i tot it has to be opened bakcward..*shame on me!* and moreover, when the tow truck come, they just found out tat it is not tat very very terrible as i have described to the road assistant guy..it is just penyok..just need to change sum plastic ting..humm...*shame on me!* hahahahah but i swear..i thought it was screwed!!

enihow..at the end of the day, my car still can be driven normally..the gals attended me back hom *tengkyu tengkyu* and the very nex day they come to my place *tengkyu tengkyu* menemani aku yang garing2 stuck dirumah..hueheuhe makasssiiii bwat yang nolongin gw from my zillion-th car accident..thx u jg ein, cha2, moni, jon and anto yg make sure tat i was alrite :) appreciate it guys *hugs*

sekedar basa basi dari kantorku....

ok ok..enuf of cerita2 yang tidak nyata yah...well, i hav to make a comment first..people, to be honest, yes some of the parts of the *wat's happening last nite and the morning after* did happen to me..but not all of them..since i posted those postings...i got questioned *makasii hepii ternyata blogspot gw ada yang baca yah ehehhehe -taske, ricka, bur, bobs, inex, ta, dre, ky* whether those are really happening, "which one is you", "is starbucks the ***** guy", "i tink i kno ur mr big" bla bla bla...

i take bits and pieces from everywhere..combine them wif my frens' stories..exegerate and dramatise sum parts to make it more intriguing... i make the characters undefinable and ambiguous becase they are not real..at tis point i olredy named sum characters...starbucks, *then Mr big..*perfect name..truly describes the real person* then there is sha, jane, dean and the protagonist..the "it" gurl.. well leave it for ur own interpretation. asikk...gw jadi kecanduan neh...well...if u want to shoot sum comments or interpretation of ideas...lin u should make tis one nyeleweng wif tat one...ow yeah..bring it on!! heheheh :D

back to real world...argghh!! assignment assignment assignment..*how real can it be!* cant wait till nex month where i can throw my textbook to the rubbish bin..no more school!!! i am so devastated..in the last 3 days..i've lost 2 kilos already..tp kurusnya jelek soalnya udah ga ngegym neh...*kalo bahasanya xenia mah no front and back bumper wuahahahah* *but i tink going to gain the suamchan back soon...bacause of excessive eating behaviour*..i went 8-5, group meeting, church ministry, then straight back to uni to do assgn til 2..go home, sleep, wake up at 6 the nex morning..and do the same thing!! JC have mercyyyyy.....*tirzahh cepetan dateng ksinih urusin esther..gw ga terurus nehh!!* hehehhe

cant wait for sydney!! krispy kreme anyone...galss,we still havent book the hotel, havent we?...hhummphh better start savings savingss..i need shopping funds!! estherrr!! dun go to garden city..i have olweis being tempted to buy tat cue skirt and live's jacket..*bagus pisan ga bohong!!* and of course tat shishedo shimmering creamm *argghh chaaa sampe kebawa mimpi tau gaa hueheueh* Hillsongs hillsongs hillsongs...burr lend me ur CD...!! i have to learn to sing the songs firstt..otherwise wont be jumping up and down wif u in the front row hahahahaha

indo indo indo cannot waitt...niu house niu room niu car...owyeah!! airin,stella,tirsa, ky,liloy,yunki,angie,yan, sisca mari mariiii wait for me yah...let's go party til dawn..alvii mari kta back for gutt ein..san2 adel..hayu atuhlah pulang kampung...let's make money and buy lv huhuy huhuy...arghh udah ahh gara2 kebanyakan belajar jadi edan neh gw...mangga ah cabut dulu...boss besar nguamuk neh gw diajakin ngomong ga konsen hehehehe *maaph chaann* cheerzzz...

phew..easy gurl easyy!!!

hum..i wrote this posting yesterday..and within 12 hours, terus gw udah dimarahin sana sinih...
*hiksss...*
maaph maaph...u guys are right...i've lost my temper ..there i admit it :p
tengkyu tengkyu saya suda dikoreksssiii...emang gw kalo lagi emosi udah dahh
apa jg disamber heuheueh...
arghhh ya udah ah...nih gw edit2 dikit postingnnya biar ga terlalu membabi buta kesannya...
ou btw, note to my sayang..too bad, maaph dah if i post epritink in blogspot hahaha..jadi relationship kta open for public to see hahahahah yah kta kan sama2 exebitionist lah orangnnya yah...jd ga pusing lah yah...high profile ceritanya....latian dulu jadi celebritiss sebelon kmu sama gw jadi konglomerat indonesia heuheue :D

*tuh i can laugh now...even though gw masih nguamukkk sebenernyahhhh*

i dont know hey..whether i still want tis thing or not...this relationship!!
i mean...it's TOO HARD TO BEAR..
these thoughts keep haunting me..
both of us keep fighting for this relationship eventhough we dont know what we've been fighting for
why we want to stay in tis relationship?
i'm not sure if his heart is there? i'm not sure if my heart is there
why stay in a relationship that is so fragile
that can break at anytime? why?
if u cannot find a solution for your fight over principal matters,
small things will keep bothering you and all the emotions will accumulate over and over again
TAT'S how fragile my relationship is!!!!!!!

i cant believe i was thinking about this last year
last month
yesterday
and tonight
here i am, finding a hundred reasons to let him go
and yet, i'm still here...going through another sleepless night
and waking up another day, finding myself
i'm still with him

tat was yesterday posting....
thx to "you know who u are" who has talked me down
i see frm a different lite now...well in regards to my future and my relationship
so let seee laahhh yaaaa

this was happening last night (part 2)

A: hey, u still awake?
B: uh-huh..it's 3 am! wassup gurl?
A: just then i felt like i couldnt breathe
B: what are you up to?
A: starring at my laptop, reading his email
B: who?
A: him who made me cried
B: gurl, it's been 2 yrs already
A: it's going to take a lyfetime for me to forget him
B: are you still in love him?
A: no
B: well then, move on
A: i have. been in love a couple times ever since, and am in love now
B: but you could not love another much as u loved him before
A: i did not say tat
B: do you still cry yourself to sleep?
A: you see, i was alrite. even when i am around his frens, when i hear stuff about him,
reading his email was not a problem for me yesterday. until just then, looking at
his picture broke my heart. he haunts me
B: you never loved someone as much as u loved him
A: we are not meant to be together
B: i wonder how is he doing now?
A: great and sexier [laughs] do you miss him?
B: everything. great boyfriend. would never met another guy like him
A: a bastard slash gentleman in a package, a very sexy package.
B: you have met your match. a manipulator slash innocent heart in a sexy package.
A: [laughs] bulls**t. love is such a waste of tyme.
B: you changed a lot because of him. so did he. two reformed players huh?
A: we were in crazy in love once. [staring at his photo] so much it hurts.
B: he hurt me too. you hurt me too
A: he left me for you
B: but his heart was still yours, and will always be yours. [pause]
would you go back together with him, if there is even a slight chance?
A: not in a million years.[pause] will you?
B: [pause] i am with him now.

[phone hangs up]

this was happening last night...

after months of no contacts, finally we sat down for coffee last nite.

"But deep down inside i know that i fight for it because i want to prove me wrong"
"But what are you trying to prove?"
"that i am not what i thought i am"

"It might appear alright, but dont kill yourself inside"
"just tell me, how hard is it to let go?"
"i have to fight my demon, my ego"

after a period of silence, we were standing in the middle of the rain

"she is just like me, rite? a person who creates boundaries, whom people know only at the surface,
who is arrogant and live by her pride."
"are you asking that just to know wat sort of person i am, or you are trying to finalise your judgement?
"How much are you willing to fight for us?"
"How much are you willing to fight for us?"

"I have to be sure on our ground, otherwise 6 months, 2 years, 10 yrs down the road, we are going to fight about this principle over and over again"

after the glass was broken, i laid awake feeling numb

"what are you listening to?"
"The sounds of heavy raining outside, and the rage inside my head"
"will you cry?"
"no"
"Why did he let you go?"
"He would never knew me, vice versa"

"So, have you defeated your demon?"
"i have turned it into my weapon"
"You are right, you are still you"

for love or money

ever watched tat show "for love or money", pretty lame show i reckon..it's just a show like "The bachelor" with a little twist over the ending. The winner of the game can choose whether she wants to take the bachelor or the money. D'oh! can't be more dull than tat?! however, the message of the show got me into thinkin..hum>! for love or money.

I've been involved in discussions with many of my male mates, in separate tymes, in regards to the type of ideal gurls tat they've, sort of, wished for. In particularly, i asked these frens of mine about their opinion when it comes to ambitious, business-minded, money-making woman, who is driven to run a million dollar company.

Scared you or attract you?

contra : yah kalo belon merit seh gapapa, cman kalo udah merit mah ga usah kerja lah, entar kasian anak2nya terlantar, terus cewe kalo dikasi kerja entar lupa daratan, maunya ngatur2 di rumah ga nurut sama suami, terus berasa ga perlu suami. Bukan apa2 sepinter2nya cewe jg kan sudah diciptain kodratnya harus tunduk sama kepala keluarga which is suami. Role-nya cewe tuh jadi pendukung dan penopang keluarga..bukan banting tulang cari duit. Apalagi yang terlalu berambisi terus gila kerja...ih, udah pasti diah naro kerjaanya diatas keluarga. Buat apa sukses di kantor kalo rumah ga keurus. Entar suaminya maen gila gara2 "kebutuhan" ga tercukupi, mau tah? Cowo ga ngasih istrinya kerja jg kan tandanya sayang, mau istrinya bener2 bergantung and secured dgn provision dari suaminya. Kalo emang istri ga bergantung dari suami mah, apa fungsinya suami jd kepala keluarga dong.

pro: Bagus banget tuh kalo ampe dapet cewe yang pinter cari duit. Pertama2 ituh namanya intellegence levelnya seimbang. Kalo istri ga dikasi kerja tuh diah ga akan ngerti suami sedalem2nya seperti kalo diah sendiri ngalamin susahnya nyari duit. Kalo istri loe kerja, pasti diajak ngomongnya diajak tuker pikiran pun akan lebih nyambung. Kalo istri taunya bumbu dapur doang, entar suaminya malah kecantol seketarisnya gimana? *emang ujung2nya semuah jg nyeleweng!* Apalagi kalo bisa kerja barengan, istri loe bisa jadi orang kepercayaan loe lah. Daripada gw kasi orang luar buat pegang duit, mendingan kasi ke istri sendiri dong. istri yang ga bisa kerja tuh bisanya cuman buang2 duit doang, ga tau lakinya banting tulang tiap hari. Loe kan jadi tau Quality seorang cewe yang mau diajak susah seneng nyari duit bareng2. Jadi tu cowo jg bakalan lebih ga nyeleweng soalnya kan bakalan bareng2 terus ma istrinya di kantor dan di rumah, terus kalo diah ninggalin istrinya entar perusahaannya bangkrut dong. cowo jg jadi ga bs semena2 sama istrinya soalnya istrinya pinter, jd ga gampang diboongin.

.............hummm?!?!.....................Wat do you say, ladies?

cerita lama

penasaran,
mungkin cman sejauh ituh rasa antara gw sama elo
gw tau banget loe tuh bener2 type gw abis,
loe jg pasti mikir gituh,
semua orang jg mikir gituh.

"loe cocok banget sama dia, dia type loe, loe type dia"
sampe bosen gw denger orang2 ngomong
bosen,
tp gw penasaran jg sih
emang mungkin banget omongan mreka bener

kenapa sih dulu kta ga lebih berani bwat ngelangkah
mungkin karena selalu ada orang laen diantara gw sama elo
mungkin karena loe sama gw, kta sama2 ga yakin
buat ngakuin kalo emang kita tertarik
sialan, gw penasaran sama loe!

kayanya cerita antara kta cman sebentar banget
ngobrol basa basi, jual mahal, ngegombal, malu2 digosipin..bla bla bla
mau maju tp males, tapi mau tapi...argh! apa sih!

and then we have to go our own separate ways,
ya udah lah, gw pikir, sejalannya waktu jg loe cman bakalan jadi salah satu dari sekian
cman tetep aja,
gw penasaran
sejalannya waktu, semua berita ttg loe pasti somehow, somewhat
nyampe ke kuping gw
loe jg kan! gw berani taruhan loe pasti tau
semuah update ttg gw

terus hari ini banget
gw baru tau
tat someone actually had successfully tied you down
gila, gw pikir, loe model yang ga bisa terikat
gw ga jeles seh, uda ga ketemu bertaun2 gitu loh
cman penasaran ajah
just wondering,
loe mikirin hal yang sama ga sih sama gw?


kalo gw tau efek penasaran sama loe bakalan segini gede
mendingan kta ga usah kenal ajah dari pertama
tp karena kta udah terlanjur kenal,
gw anggep aja loe sebagai salah satu dari
cerita lama gw

menulish lagi ah....

gilaa..hari inih dinginya edan!! wat's wif the weather in perth?! siang panas, malem dingin, and currently, hari inih jam 10:47 di east fremantle, the weather is freakin'Cold!! hum..lemme think..a good excuse for a big mug of coffee, yeah! apparentally, i have been trying to give up coffee, i made i pact wif my man kalo gw brenti ngopi dia brenti ngokar, since both of us are heavy users ahahaha, but yeah too bad, he luvs his ciggies as much as i love my caffeine, so the two of us just giving up on trying to stop. current mood: NGANTUK! untung hr ini kantor lumayan sepi..soalnya hari senin bakalan public holiday, jadinya gw nganggur pisan euy..plus i have an assistant now..ceritanya udah jadi supervisor neh muahahah so i can sit back and relax and let the new office trainee to do all the works *kiky u are a champ!* duhh padahal pengen pisan ikutan nonton basket tournament skrg ma anak2..cannot!!

owyah..i have a new hobby now, playing psychology wif people. i have olweis been interested in ilmu kejiwaan, readings abt personality and chareteristic traits, looking at the psychology sides of ppl,. and to some extent applying sum psychology technique to get my point across. *relax, nothing scary, i just use them for marketing purpose hehehe" Belakangan inih seh cman, bener2 dhe, i cannot help but keep analysing the psychological reasonings that cause people to behave and think in a certain way. This is due to the fact that lately, gw been in an environment where people anylise people whom they interact to. My super businessman boss, for example, can read the level of inteligence of a person just by looking at someone's photo. After talking to the person for a couple of minutes, he can tell whether the person is lying or telling the truth. My colleague, doddy is even scarier. He can read my personalities at the firt time we meet. He tells me the type of relationship i am into, and how i react with things, in which 90% of his analysis is true. My mum and my bro are also mind readers themselves, they can read people's face, analyse their personalities and way of thinking, hence they know how to handle and deal with different kinds of people. But i have never been threatened by their abilities, i have olweis turned to them for psychological analysis when i make new frens.

in my perspective the skill of reading a person's character and traits is very important, especially when it comes to business and relationships. when it comes to the matter of ur feeling, ur trust and ur money, u better be assured that the person you are dealing with are not planning to fool around with you. Those psychology experts that i have mentioned above told me tat they got the skills based on their experiences in meeting different kinds of people. There are many ppl whom are very sweet and innocent when u meet them for the first tyme but in the end it turned out that they are the best liars and backstabbers ever. I have different mentors that teach me different methods to "read people". My bestfren tian taught me to read through conversations and wisdoms from the Holy spirit , of course. He happened to be very sensitive towards the ups and downs of his friends because he listen to the wisdom from the Holy Spirit. I think tat wat makes him a very good councellor and advicer, because he knows wat method suits best for different type of people. Anyway, all Christians are given the priviledge to rely on HS guidance when it comes to deal with people.

teruss..my schatchen, my very analytical and speculative schatchen, is obviously one person who really likes to play wif people psychology as well. I hate it but i have to admit tat he got me to do wat he wants without me even realising it. Dammit. Apparentaly he learns my personality that i am a very arrogant person, gengsi ketinggian, so a straight talk would only get us into argument. So this guy, persitently slowly but sure, sweetly and humbly getting his points across to me wif his psychological technique and it just a matter of tyme tat gw kemakan jg akhirnya. pertama2nya memang ga nyadar gw di-licikin..cman as i got to talk and got to kno him, i got to read btw the lines, i tink i started to learn jurus2 psychologynya diah. Not tat i'm saying he has a bad motive towards me, he is jus smart enuf to "menyetir gw". good on you, babe! but i have to learn to play him back to, jd gw bisa nyetir diah jg in tyme of needs hehehe.

so, according to my analysis you can shape, determine, or even manipulate the image that you want to portray to people. Just to test people reaction, i was going out for coffee wif a group of new ppl whom my friend had introduced to me. Then, in the middle of the conversation, ppl are started to gossip about an occurance tat happen to a "hi-bye" fren of mine. Before they started the story, which i dont know to be true or not, they politely asked me whether i know the person or not. Learning from experience, kalo kta mo ngegosipin orang terus tau2 ada yang kenal pasti kta batal dong ngegosipnya...jgn2 entar sampe ke orgnya hehehe so, i put an innocent facial expression and said "who?" Based on the assurance tat i don't know the person, psychologically they think tat it is save to gossip abt this person with me around, so they started saying "there is this one gurl, rite! and she is blah blah blah" and for the rest of the nite i just commented "Really?" "Uh-huh!" "yang mana seh orangnnya?" and so on. I am not interested in the gossip itself, cuman gosip si ini suka sama si ituh, lagian gw ga kenal2 amat ama orangnnya, ga pusing! I just want to test this theory of mind games and hey, it worked. Well, it's just a very very simple example, but yeah there are many tricks tat u can play to get people to think and react the way you intentionally plan them to be.

So bottom line, just think further before you speak and dont be caught up in the hype or atmosphere of a sitation because someone might be manipulatively trying to get you into something u are not aware of. Here's one secret tat i've learnt over the years: to get a person to speak more, dont ask more questions eventhough rationally speaking, you would get more when you ask more, right? Psychologically, people will speak out more when u create silence and awkward atmosphere because they will feel the pressure to break the awkward moment. Simply just people dont like to be caught in awkward moment, on the other hand if u keep asking questions, the tendency is more towards defence from being interogated. Intersting huh? Yeah, let me investigate more and i'll shall be back wif more reports. Just be-careful, as i might go after you. muahahahah *evil laughs*