Monday, May 16, 2005

this was happening last night...

after months of no contacts, finally we sat down for coffee last nite.

"But deep down inside i know that i fight for it because i want to prove me wrong"
"But what are you trying to prove?"
"that i am not what i thought i am"

"It might appear alright, but dont kill yourself inside"
"just tell me, how hard is it to let go?"
"i have to fight my demon, my ego"

after a period of silence, we were standing in the middle of the rain

"she is just like me, rite? a person who creates boundaries, whom people know only at the surface,
who is arrogant and live by her pride."
"are you asking that just to know wat sort of person i am, or you are trying to finalise your judgement?
"How much are you willing to fight for us?"
"How much are you willing to fight for us?"

"I have to be sure on our ground, otherwise 6 months, 2 years, 10 yrs down the road, we are going to fight about this principle over and over again"

after the glass was broken, i laid awake feeling numb

"what are you listening to?"
"The sounds of heavy raining outside, and the rage inside my head"
"will you cry?"
"no"
"Why did he let you go?"
"He would never knew me, vice versa"

"So, have you defeated your demon?"
"i have turned it into my weapon"
"You are right, you are still you"



2 comments:

The Dreamer said...

i see... hmmm.. somehow u don't lose u hmmh?

the amethyst said...

hey inex, thankz for the comment and thx u for the analysis...

yeah..actually when u tink that someone or something can change u, in the end u know, that u will never lose u :)

well, keep reading gurl..and post ur comment..i luv it when people get wat i tried to say between the lines :)

cheers,
me