confession of a stressful workaholic

went home today around 3 pm and literally had a headache (it lasted til now)
Took a short nap, eating chocolate, drinkin coffee and playin with hugo, but the head is still spinning. So i sat in my indoor garden at home, starring and doing more thinking.

"Did i spend too much on that outlet?"
"Should i retreat my distribution in tat place or hold a little longer?"
"What compensation should i give to tat person?"
"expenses here, expenses there, margin equals return?"
"WHAT THE HEWW...!!!"

i'd been working before, been doing business before and living a fast paced life just like now. And now i remember vividly how it felt like. ARGH..!! you just cannot take your mind even for one second from your job. When i was a jobless person, living in la la land, i've olweis told my boyfren (and my ex boyfren who is a 10 times workaholic) to slow down, to not being to preoccupied with their jobs and all. but now, look who eats her own words?

all biz are polished from the outside but the itsy bitsy things on the inside are the ones that count. Those are the ones that needed to be taken care the most, the foundation of all. And they are the ones that create this headache that i suffer. I cannot even rest my mind because as soon as i stop doing something, these brain cells are functioning and refuse to accept my orders. Worse than that, my melancholy DNA just cause them to think of negative thoughts other than positive thoughts. IT always figures out the "Worst possible scenario" other than good motivations. It drains me out. Why am i so cynical?

Before i destroy my passion to work, i put a brake to these negative thoughts. I just feed my brain wif positive food. HA! my good friend, googleDOTcom is exactly where i went. i typed "SUCCESS FROM THE SCRATCH" and found countless reads on people who had been through worse than me. Those who had to endure years and years of nothing to produce something. But persistence pays off, as well. IT works for them, it will work for me as well, huh?

Funnily, out of millions of source, my hand "coincidently" leads me to articles in which the entrepreneurs "pray to ask direction from God", "cannot go through all these without a strong faith in God" and i am about to break down and cry. i think to myself. So gud-dem-true! I would not make it half way if i dont have a convinction that God is behind me throughout the way.

So my dearest friends, the moral of the story here: Trust what the american dollar bill says: IN GOD WE TRUST. the only thing to keep you sane. That's all folks.