Another 2 hours to kill before I can go to my starworld. I am totally hooked up on Prison Break, Fashion House, Heroes and American Idol. Geez, I have officially turned into a TV geek. Bukan gara2 gak punya pacar jadi gua berjamur di rumah, punya pacar pun I wud stay at home watchin TV all night, cuman bedanya sambil teleponan all hours (don’t we all love our CDMA)
I have finally come into terms on being single. I just have realised how hard it is to stand on the (beautiful) shoes of a single girl. Back then, I have too many girlfriends who have gone through a very hard time after a break-up. They could not imagine going through life without a boyfriend, they messed up, turning into a drama queen, immediately jumped into a new relationship or just becoming an ice princess right away. At that time, although I displayed affectionate empathy on the outside, inside I was like “Get a life”. I’d been single all the way through my teen period (of course there were always leading men and dates here and there) but never a solid relationship until the last 6 months of my stay in Perth. For me, being single is easy. It is not just easy it is great. Whoever said that you couldn’t be single if you live overseas, well, you should go to THE ROCKS (haha!)
Now that I have makan garem lebih banyak daripada dulu, my perspective have changed. Being single is easy, that is if you have always been single. But if you have tasted the goodness of a solid, nurturing, bringing out you best kind of relationship, feels like you cannot imagine being single anymore. Now I know that it is not a matter that my girlfriends are being “too attached”, or not being “independent enough” not that they don’t have a life or a solid character, it’s just a fact of life. It is hard to be single period.
Tapi biar susahpun kalo memang sudah terjadi kan tetep harus dijalanin. We cannot always have what we want in life, many times it does not turn out the way we want it to be, so even if we don’t want to, we still gotta do what we gotta do. I used to look for a quick fix when a relationship is broken: jump into a new relationship right away.
(Kalo diliat2 biasanya yang lgs punya pacar baru rightaway is a victim of a cheating ex) No judgement. Been there done that, learnt my lesson: That’s like gali lubang tutup lubang. It does not solve the problem, couple of months down the road, we would find ourself facing the same problem, only with a different person.
I used to think that Beyonce’s song “irreplaceable” is so right. I was too arrogant when I believed that “I could have another you in a minute, so don’t you for a second get into thinking that you are irreplaceable” It was the pride that made us believes that whoever moves on first, wins. It is so shallow, I know, but we are all guilty of doing it unconsciously. We are human beings after all. Ego, greed, selfishness are parts of our DNA. Enggak mau mikir kaya gitu lagi ahh.. It’s not a contest between you and your ex.
My girlfriends told me since I am the youngest amongst all; I am most impulsive and reckless one in the group. If I could, for once, not making decision in the times when my brain is not functioning properly because of that little thing called emotion, I would not have to go through some relationship shits that I’d been through. Thank God that they still bear with me, when I am coming to them for the hundredth time for the same problem over the years.
I have finally come into terms on being single. I just have realised how hard it is to stand on the (beautiful) shoes of a single girl. Back then, I have too many girlfriends who have gone through a very hard time after a break-up. They could not imagine going through life without a boyfriend, they messed up, turning into a drama queen, immediately jumped into a new relationship or just becoming an ice princess right away. At that time, although I displayed affectionate empathy on the outside, inside I was like “Get a life”. I’d been single all the way through my teen period (of course there were always leading men and dates here and there) but never a solid relationship until the last 6 months of my stay in Perth. For me, being single is easy. It is not just easy it is great. Whoever said that you couldn’t be single if you live overseas, well, you should go to THE ROCKS (haha!)
Now that I have makan garem lebih banyak daripada dulu, my perspective have changed. Being single is easy, that is if you have always been single. But if you have tasted the goodness of a solid, nurturing, bringing out you best kind of relationship, feels like you cannot imagine being single anymore. Now I know that it is not a matter that my girlfriends are being “too attached”, or not being “independent enough” not that they don’t have a life or a solid character, it’s just a fact of life. It is hard to be single period.
Tapi biar susahpun kalo memang sudah terjadi kan tetep harus dijalanin. We cannot always have what we want in life, many times it does not turn out the way we want it to be, so even if we don’t want to, we still gotta do what we gotta do. I used to look for a quick fix when a relationship is broken: jump into a new relationship right away.
(Kalo diliat2 biasanya yang lgs punya pacar baru rightaway is a victim of a cheating ex) No judgement. Been there done that, learnt my lesson: That’s like gali lubang tutup lubang. It does not solve the problem, couple of months down the road, we would find ourself facing the same problem, only with a different person.
I used to think that Beyonce’s song “irreplaceable” is so right. I was too arrogant when I believed that “I could have another you in a minute, so don’t you for a second get into thinking that you are irreplaceable” It was the pride that made us believes that whoever moves on first, wins. It is so shallow, I know, but we are all guilty of doing it unconsciously. We are human beings after all. Ego, greed, selfishness are parts of our DNA. Enggak mau mikir kaya gitu lagi ahh.. It’s not a contest between you and your ex.
My girlfriends told me since I am the youngest amongst all; I am most impulsive and reckless one in the group. If I could, for once, not making decision in the times when my brain is not functioning properly because of that little thing called emotion, I would not have to go through some relationship shits that I’d been through. Thank God that they still bear with me, when I am coming to them for the hundredth time for the same problem over the years.
But yes if I could do it all over again, I still would not change a thing of what I do. Let the mistakes be the garem that make my life tasty haha. Yep, I learn that shallowness does come with a price. Well, at the bright side at least I would have many bed stories to tell my kids later. (My bed stories wont be Cinderella or Peter Pan, it would be Scorpio season one to three, Mr. Big season one to ten and all that haha.)
Moreover after not being a “we” anymore, it takes time to find out “me” as oneself. Funny how we grow into a new person in a relationship because of the things that we do for our partner, and the things that our partner do for us. Some compromise here and there, some new things that we learn in our relationship have transformed us into a new person. We develop new habits, new looks, even a new way of thinking because of our “we”-ness. Now that the “we” does not exist anymore, what about our individuality, the “me”? Thinking and thinking...
jadiiii.... yahhh begitudeh.. udah ah kebanyakan cangcingcong.. these philosophies of doctor love and this bullshit talk will be continuedd.. ada tukang mie ayam favekuwww.. i gotta run before he leavee... TUKANG ME AYAM!! WAIIIITTT...!!!!
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