"you know 5 years ago, when we first started dating, we were madly in love with each other. I really wanted to marry him and he always said, "ngapain married buru2. aku mo kasih kamu makan apa? makan cinta?" and you know what after being married to him for almost a year now. after we hav everything now, aku dikasi makan segala macem kecuali cinta. "
"beneran aku gak bohong, kalo boleh jujur mendingan aku makan warteg but i know kalo aku beneran disayang sama suami aku"
well my dear, mungkin kita masih terlalu muda untuk mengerti the huge mystery behind the so sacred married life. you've only been married for a year and everyone said that the first years of marriage is the hardest to endure. So hang in there, girl. Jangan ahh milih warteg dibanding cinta. My good friend, the wise ibu pangdam of palembang (currently) taught me that "semua laki sama ajah, lin. yang kaya yang miskin, yang ganteng yang jelek, semua juga baji***n. makanya, kalo udah tau bakalan sama aja menderita, mendingan menderita diatas mercy daripada diatas bajay. "
yah, if you ask me of course aku gak tau mo bilang apaan, my ring finger is still free kok at the moment. Biarpun gw tidak meng-amin-kan petuahnya ibu pangdam, i wud not forget those words til the day i walk down the aisle and proclaim my wedding vows.
my mum said this to me once upon a time, long2 time ago when i was stil hijau muda banget " ujian duit tuh kaya gini lin, kalo cewe, liatin ajah kalo cowonya gak punya uang dia masih mau gak stay sama cowonya. Kalo cowo, liatin ajah kalo dia udah punya uang, mau gak dia tetep stay sama cewenya", then being a very hijau naive person at that time i said " kenapa harus uang yang jadi tolak ukurnya? bukannya masih banyak pertimbangan yang laen yang bikin orang stay and go?"
Then this guy whom i met last saturday just said this to me di menit ke 55 pertandingan MU melawan Liverpool, "Gua sih mo serius career ajah dulu. Kalo gua udah sukses, banyak duit, masa cewe2 gak mau sama gua sih?" and gua again dengan ngasalnya ngomong "Yah ada millions of guys di jakarta alone yang kaya gitu ko (sucessful, good looking and have plenty of money), kenapa cw2 harus milih kamu?" tapi emang kok slogannya mastercard itu udah paling CHUN beak!! "There are something that money cant buy, but at the end of the day a platinum mastercard wont hurt you either"
aduh, hari gini yaa.. udah natural disaster jadi makanan harian, pesawat jatuh tiap minggu (btw, kalo garuda ajah bisa jatoh, what's the odds of the other pesawat kecil2 bakalan doing fine? ) kapan sii orang2 bakalan bertobat? kenapa yang jadi issue urusan duit lagi, duit lagi? Apa susahnya sih buat sayang sama istri sendiri, dulu ajah bisa cinta kan makanya bisa sampe married, kenapa sekarang udah sukses the love jadi turns sour? Kasian dong istrinya udah cakep banget, baek banget, pengertian banget, masii aja di taking for granted.
Aneh ah, the way the whole thing operates is just plain crazy, almost all of my male friends say that "gua mah gak cari yang cewe yang gimana2 lah lin, asal orangnya bae and sayang sama gua". Lah terus udah dapet yang bae, cantik pula, pinter pula, pengertian, perhatian segala macem, akhirnya putus juga. gara2 nyeleweng sama the party gurl type, a heartbreaker pula. ckckck. Yang lebih parah, udah punya yang baik dan cantik as a wife at home, masih ajah berkeliaran maen2 sama yang aneh2. loh maunya apa si?
A frustated girlfriend then just asked me, "kalo gitu gua mendingan jadi yang aneh2 ajah yah? biar lebi disayang gitu?" loh kalo gitu entar kamu gak jadi istrinya dong, jadi simpenan doang. Udah yuk, kita pergi ke gereja ajah tiap minggu, biar gak mikir yang aneh2. makin lama tinggal di indo memang bikin otak yang tadinya lumayan cerah jadi mengkerut gara2 dipengaruhi sinetron putri, wulan, intan, anggun dan teman2nya. mendingan kita beli DVD friends sama Will and Grace aja yuk!!
anihow, my dear, all that i know is that a marriage is forever. There are many and different phases that you and him will go through together. A year of "not feeling disayang" does not define your happiness, right? Love grows but the growth takes time. a happy marriage is not built in a year. And a strong, kind hearted, courageous woman like you are, will get the last laugh eventually.
Again, these are the words of my mum who has successfuly tamed 3 most selfish, arrogant, licik, stubborn people on the face of the earth (my dad, my brother and me) over the period of 25 years, "kebahagiaan itu terbuat dari many many tears, many many sacrifices, many many forgiveness, and countless prayers" She told me that once i have a family on my own i will understand that. and yes, if anyone ask my mum today, she never doubts for a day that she is truly, madly and deeply loved by these 3 people.
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