viva arrogance..!!

Never seen any woman who is as confident and as arrogant as this diva: Maria Callas. She is known to be the best opera singer of the post World War 2 as she has combined an impeccable bel canto technique with great dramatic gifts. I have heard about the big name, but never came across to read her bio until today. I was watching the biography of Aristotle onassis, whom happened to be the second husband of my Damn-she-is-too-good too-be true-muse Jackie O. Aristotle was said to find his true love in Maria Callas. Then, I was curios to check what sort of woman she was, afterall, she’s jackie’s rival.

Her biography was full of the names of opera and songs and terms that I don’t understand, I think to myself, what the hew is so special about this woman person, but when I reached the end of the reading, I was shocked in awe to find out her very own famous quote. Is this lady super confident or what?

· "Don't talk to me about rules, dear. Wherever I stay I make the goddamn rules."

· "I would not kill my enemies, but I will make them get down on their knees. I will, I can, I must."

· "You are born an artist or you are not. And you stay an artist, dear, even if your voice is less of a fireworks. The artist is always there."

· "Some say I have a beautiful voice, some say I have not. It is a matter of opinion. All I can say, those who don't like it shouldn't come to hear me."

· "If I have stepped on some people at times because I am at the top, it couldn't be helped. What should I do if someone gets hurt... retire?"

On Renata Tebaldi: "When she can sing a Walkure and Puritani back to back, then you can compare us. Until then it is like trying to compare Coca Cola to champagne."

Some people hate arrogant people. I am not some people. I love arrogant people who can prove they are what they say they are. I rather be in the presence of a confident person rather than a person who doesn’t know what he or she stands for. Moreover, of course she is allowed to be overly confident and arrogant, she was the best of the best in her era. For me personally, arrogance can bring such magnetic charm and charisma up to a point. It hypnotizes one’s surrounding not to despise but to praise the particular person. well, that's how the saying goes: if you got it, flaut it. Viva arrogance..!!

weekly bitching

yes yes it has been a while since i lost contact wif the double-you, double-you, double-you world, yes yes it is embarassing because telkomnet has terminated my internet connection, due regards to late payment. Yes, yes my parents are the kind of old school who does not have any idea what internet banking means. So, since our family housekeeper took on a week break, my sincere condolescene that his dad got a kidney prob, we were strayed in the no-entertainment- land. but thank God he's back. in only one day, he takes care of everything and voila, here i am, bloggin' as usual.

so, during those couple of days in which my technology intact is insync, i went back to the primitive sources of information. books and newspapers. i do love to read from the net, because you can read anything that you want, for free, at anytime. but well, since the net is temporarily unavailable, i got back to the ol'ye faithful paper version of kompas and pikiran rakyat. Then i got for myself the latest harper bazaar, american one, 400 pages in content. i read em all in a total of 6 hours, 5 times caffeine refill. tat's what i call HEAVEN.

gez, may i strongly recommend, dont buy the indonesian version of bazaar. also dont buy the australian and singapore and malaysian ones. not half as good as the UK and US editions. pardon me, but the "profile in courage" on the indonesian version was on tamara blezinsky and the US version was on martha steward and melania trump. I mean, tamara who?

hah.. wat else yaa.. working blues, more working blues, and so does my darling says " yah begitulah upside downnya bekerja" --->only that!! no symphaty, pampering lines from him. SEE, men just dont understand..!!!yes rite, now i look back at those old times when i was mummy and daddy's little gurl who was never required to do any job at all. just travelling here and there, pegi maen setiap hari, bangun siang. blublabli hahhh... suddenly i missed those boring tymes so much... tidak usa dimarahin orang setiap hari, tidak usa makan hati ngurusin manusia2 indonesia yang bermental tempe dan pinter cari alesan, yang bekerja sebagai SPG sayah, tidak usah bikin dosa dengan nyogok sana sini supaya barang saya dikasi shelf depan, dan yang paling penting tidak usa deg-deg-an setiap akhir bulan mikirin kontra bon yang terus dimundur2in ahhh satulagiii mikirin ordernya bakalan di-repeat gak bulan depan... damn, masi ada lagi, manusia2 indonesia yang tidak menghargai waktu. ngaret terus! bikin orang nunggu berjam2, terus tinggal telepon minta cancel....

ARGH... gw ga ngerti orang yang ngomong cari duit di indo lebih gampang. nyatanya banyak yang bikin makan hati tuuhh... bukan salah marketnya memang, memang mental dan intelligencenya orang indonesia ituhhh haduhhhh...!!! no words can describe.. saya kasian sama presiden SBY yang mati-matian memerangi korupsi dan membantu rakyat miskin di indonesia. bangsa ini memang belon siap ditolong kok, belon siap untuk hidup bener, belun tau mana yang bener dan yang salah, mikirrrnyaa ituuu lohh ko bisa shallow banget sii.. sebell sebell sebeell.. bytheway, i think Mr. SBY is the best president indonesia ever had, so far. for example, he sends his son to curtin university. hahaha tat's the smartest decision ever.

anyhow anyhow, blog ini memang tempat saya marah2 dan complain2 ko... i cant think of any nice thing to write rite now, especially after a very tough meeting wif my fussy fussy client, arghhh cant take jiguja ting out of my head. get off..!! i want to have a nice rest.. huh! may be i need a weekend off.. may behhh i need a moth of works.. i just saw many many holiday package offers on the papers. anyone up for beijing.. or melbourne?

shall i know thy name?

it's one fine afternoon, the clock states the time precisely at 1:53:26 and she sits pretty by the computer. Her eyes are locked in multiple pieces of writings that are displayed in different windows in front of her. New York Times, Harian Kompas online, wikipedia: history of rembrandt, literature pieces on kryptonism legacy, weblogs, and cosmopolitan website, and Our Daily Bread devotional site. That is so typical her. she eats knowledge, not information, for her daily bread. she likes to be drawn and wanders her thoughts in highly appreciated arts. Poetry and psychology are her pieces of cake. She likes to force her brain and soul to be mezmerised by unconventional ways of thinking. She acknowledges the existence of genius and praises their masterpieces in awe. Contrary to popular belief, she is a follower of the pop culture as well. As religious as she is, she loves to keep in touch with her dark side. Hollywood, Paris and Milan are her source of escape from the world of innocence. She is not naive. she knows things, but as the bible teaches, let the wise keeps her mouth shout. of course, that statement is her own translation. She likes to be recognised for her intelligence, she likes to be acknowledge for her sensibility and wants to be known for her superiority. wannabies are some sort of mockery to her, so does those with no brain and who can only talk rubbish. arrogant and stubborn, she admits. she can laugh at herself and appreciate the simplest things in life. She used to be a pure heart, an innocent child who believes in the good in every person. But love transforms her. She feels pain, she feels betrayal and envy, she realised that the antagonist does exist in the perfect world of hers. So, she learnt her mistakes, her sweet sweet mistakes. She admitted the fact that there are mere human beings who are designed to screw other people's brain. she was screwed, and then she becomes one. She loves challenges and syncronicity in life. she likes things to be done in her ways. she is a mastermind who loves to blue print a life. she likes to see things happen the way she has already predicted. Nobody is perfect, she agrees, but with enough determination, perfection is simply just a different standard for everyone. Perfection is a destination that can be reached, at least in her own agenda. She does not like defeat. She embraces fear and insecurity. the fact that nobody can stand in her own might, but so does the bible says, in my weakness His strength is perfected. Therefore she stands still, and til the very day she has seen the ways He has elevated her. higher than before. she is grateful. she is a person who knows to who her heart belongs, her soul belongs, and with such understanding she refuses defeat. People could have never predicted where about she was going, and still to the very day, they dont know what does she have in mind. she keeps doing things that nobody has ever taken before. she accomplishes miracle after miracle. She is afraid of the pace of her walks, but all she knows she could not stop. so she keeps walking. she holds her head up, zip her caffeine , takes a deep breath. then she continues to feed her brain, her soul, her whole being. just for the sake of preparing the unwaken, the elevation that she definetely knows for sure, will she encounter. The time is stated precisely 2:15:33.

....holiday do'z and don'tz...

okay, it's approaching the holiday season, and this sistah is sharing a tip or two on what to do and what not to do.. just to make ur holiday more enjoyable..

do:

go on a strict diet program, for the minimum of one week in advance. aim to shed 4 pounds off, if you can do more than dat, please tell me how on earth do you do tat!! anyhow, you know why. for an absolute fact that we are going to gain more pounds during the holiday season. who is silly enuf not to dine and wine during a holiday season. even lindsay lohan eats when she's off workin'.

The second valid reason we needs to reduce our weight is the fact that we want to wear all of our gud clothes when marching in and outside the hotel. come on! i do luv to purchase baju model aneh2 like the skirt ala balloon, then the shoes ala mini mouse, then sandals ala alibaba.. *you get the idea* but dont expect to see me in them down in this land of batagor . too embarassing. but when you speak of holiday, hellow carrie! so.. i'm just saying, i dun want to feel less than 100% when wearing my aneh2 outfits. *lagi gendut ahh ga berani pake yg terlalu ngepas.. bla bla bla*

number 3.. do pay your credit card bills before you take off. (tashkee, do i get an amen in this subject? haha) i mean, there's this one time, there were 7 of us goin to a cinema. i was not really close to sum of them at tat time, and becos i am the one who has the bunny, taz and batman cards, i offered them my card. for gudness sake, it was only the kind of discount from no-ban to ce-ban, my frens. and my cards were rejected for the total purchase of cit-ban rupiah. can i make my point any more clear? so, do pay your credit card bill before it ruins your reputation.

don't :

have a sudden attack of insomnia the night before you take off. the beauty industy has not invented a product that truly works for hiding our panda eyes. they dont look pretty for our holiday season. plus, sleeping on the plane and cars for long hours do not help. do sleep and wake up early on the hari H.

ha.. here's a quote from my gudfren mr. wiseman, who has quotted mr. garry (haha!), "dont bring sands to the beach" ("apaan tuh yan, bahasa loe ganteng bener?" i asked him) ituh artinya jangan bawa baju ke tempat loe bakalan shopping gila-gilaan. haha. wisdom or what.

who'eva bring tiny bags to holidays is just losing her mind. aint you gonna bring ur sisir, jaket and scarf, make-up bags for after landing, then sum entertainment like i-pod, magazines and journals and everything. but who'eva only brings one fat bag and not having a glossy tiny purse for partying later during the night is olso dobel dumb (i was!) i thought i was so smart to bring the biggest, most hip tote from home. i can tuck everything, practically everything there. but when it comes to late nite parties, my bag just wont do it. i ended up carrying my cell allnite, then all the cards, gloss and mascara in my back pocket. so not comfortable at all.

dont leave your paperworks at home. i agree that holiday is holiday. but, if something suddenly comes up, and you happened to leave all your contacts back home.. you'll be kebakaran jenggot (like i was) especially if ur personal assistant too has decided to take on a holiday and decided not to pik up your fone, damn u'll be kebakaran jenggot plus kebakaran other bulu2. so take all of your biz contacts and accounts, jus in case of emergency..

sum tings to be brought in ur handcarry...

• flipflop alias sendal jepit.. i kno u wan to wear ur tallest manolo on holiday, but trust me even the softest shoes wont do your foot no gud when worn for longer than 5 hours max, so olweis change to ur flipflop whereever u are in plane or in cars. just to rest those pretty feet.
• accesoriezz.. just in case u dun have time to go bak to the hotel and the acara is keep goin til dawn. jus to differentiate ur luk. one look is strictly for one occasion only. never look the same noon and nite. but dun make evry1 wait for you to change ur entire outfits, additional accessories and glam make-up will do the tricks just fine.
• listerine, wax gel, perfume, facial wash and band aid, for gucci sake. ow, and dont forget tissue. this is indonesia, gudnes me.

begitudehh kira2nya yaaa... happy holz y'all/mwahz. ah btw, tat's moi in sydney fish market. now u know why i said u need to bring ur perfume everywhere.

to all the people i've loved before

it's been a long time coming,
butterflies, yes it must be butterflies
just like they all happened yesterday
let's best describe them
too fast, too soon
yes,my darlings

too fast too soon
we fell in love
too fast too soon
we shed our tears
too fast too soon
we slammed the door
then left each other
in deep pain, deep sorrow

but afterall that we've been thru
we forgive and we forget
we shake hands and kiss each other's cheeks
ye my darlings, we are fine

dramatic and hopelessly romantic
yes, that's how we should remember us
too many speculative manipulation
too many mind games
you're a brainwasher and i'm a mind reader
too many lies
we both should be nominated for an oscar
we love to make each other cry
your words are too sweet yet poisonous
too many silent wars
too many flowers
too many dinner lit by candle
too many endless conversations
too many kisses
too many break-ups and make ups


as we go our separate ways
remember us, and how we used to be
and for as long as we shall live
we shall put a smile on our face
when we encounter each other
and wish each other the best of luck
very well indeed when it comes to love, my darlings
at least we have learnt something from each other

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

there she goes again,

yes it's the last day of the long weekend now, down town in bandung city hijau berbunga. so here i am, sitting down with a can of pocari, no i dont consume jiguja for gucci sake, and a huge plate of bakut bakarr (damn gud!) i was just landing about a couple hours ago, from la la land of course. I wud not want to be stuck in traffic jam in bandung for 5 it's-freakin-holi-dayz-my-fren, yes thanks to all those B-plated cars. yep, so me and me-huneh we spent the wiken in the B-plated land.

anyhow, it's been a tremendous blessing for me, the fact that my darling is a fashion junkie. (well, it's one of the requirements to become my darling anyway. ya'all kno i'd been growin up wif a very stylish brotha who luves to dandanin me, so i cant stand a man who hav no idea wat skinny jeans or legging are) btw, this holiday season is shopping marathon for us and ev. hah. then after we're done wif the retail theraphy. we eat. we eat big tymes. fyi, i gain 4 pounds in 5 days, due regards to baby back ribs and kambing bakar.. gudness me! yes in short, we had a really great tyme. from amnesia (gila-gilaann..!), to fashion show (jessie dahlink, you look fabulous!), to ritz carlton (gebrak teruss yuu..!) , to x-lg (gila-gilaan lagii..!), to verigo (masi gilaa-gilaann jugaa..)

huehh.. tapi i still manage to get up at 8 in the morning and pack my luggage to bring my tired arse back home. thanks to my most pengertian mum, she booked a masseur for me. so that's how my wiken ended. a 3 hours massage session at home. ow, and tagihan credit card to be paid.

a hi-lo maintainance gurl, she is.

a pretty hectic day, i'd been thru' today. up at 7 then at the go all day long. tried to sum up all meetings as fast as i could, in particular, so that i can make it to my facial appointment.

it's been 2 months since my face been treated properly. once upon a time, when i was still a "socialista" (read: pengangguran who doesnt know what to do everyday) i visited NSC like once for every two week. Not that i'm taking precious attention to my face, hair and body. it's just that because i had nothing to do so i went there. but, since i got resuracted back to life (read: working like a mad woman) i have not step a foot on the place. i got called and been told tat i've missed my schedule, way back.

there's always queue at NSC. But hey, welcome to Indonesia my friend, this is the country where you can cut in the line if you know how. so, to cut the story short, i cut in the line and saw the doctor with no waiting necessary. She just touched my skin and wrote prescription.

"perawatan seperti biasa?"
"iya seperti biasa aja"
"mau jet pill?"
dalem hati sii mau, tapi harganya mahal gak kira2! so i said,
"nanti ajah dokter. next appointment"
"oh ya uda, perawatan terus peeling aja ya."
"peeling? chemical peeling?"
"iya. nanti kalo gatel2 sedikit tahan aja ya"
setau saya, peeling itu kan pengelupasan kulit. bagus sih. tapi yang pake tante2 yang udah umur 40.
"memang saya uda perlu di-peeling yah dokter?"
"yah bagus ko buat peremajaan kulit. anak kelas 5 SD ajah banyak ko yang uda di peeling"
"jadi nanti kulit sy dikelupasin gitu ya dokter? memang ada masalah apa dengan kulit sy?"
"engga ada sih. jadi kan perawatan kamu ga gitu2 aja. biar bervariasi"

I WAS LIKE.. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WOMAN!? Welcome to Indonesia my friend, the country where the doctor does not know what she is doing. she just write the prescription just for the sake of doing it. I mean, does a 21 year old needs a layer of her skin to be taken off, just because it's variety and people are doing it. of course the anak kelas 5 SD is doing it. she doesnt know what peeling is and the doctor just told her to. (now here is the time when education from Sex and the City eventually comes handy haha)

Goodness me, ibu dokter!

anyway, i did not undergo the chemical peeling thing, but the ibu dokter still manages to squeeze penies out of my purse. You know doctors are people with the highest IQ but worst handwritting, right? This ibu dokter, she writes the names of medicines tat i need to take for my daily use. I can hardly read her hand writings. i thought they are just the usuals, you know, moisturaiser, toner, cleanser etc. but i was shocked, when i check my beauty case at home. she made me to purchase "krim leher" pagi dan malam. I WAS LIKE.. WHAT THE HEW IS THIS WOMAN DOING?! Why on earth does a 21 year old need to apply 2 different types of krim for her neck!! OKAY, i admitted tat i got some wrinkles on my eyes. if she got me an eye cream, yes i can appreciate that. BUT DI LEHER..?? does she think i am ageing or something?

hhhh.... ya sudahlaahhh.... kalo kebanyakan ngomel2 entar leher sy beneran keriputan and really does need the krim leher... i'm happy thou' that finally i got sum1 to squuze my black pores. yes, i'm admitting to that as well. i am a billionaire of black pores, and they have made me to endure torturing for at least 30 minutes every month. but yes, i am glad that for this time of the month i'm done with that. ahhhh... gotta go now. another meeting in 15 minutes. (with red nose, yes i look like rudolph the red nose dear, admitting to that one too!)

damn...below average huh!!!!

Your IQ Is 115

Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average Your Verbal Intelligence is Exceptional Your Mathematical Intelligence is Exceptional Your General Knowledge is Above Average

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

betullll sekalii.. saya memang ngefans sama diaa..

You Are Most Like Bill Clinton

No doubt, your legacy may be a little seedier than you'd like. But even though you've done some questionable things, you're still loved by almost all.

What Modern US President Are You Most Like?

welcome to my paradise

damn, if you life in this country in the past three to four months, everywhere you turn, you will listen to this song being played here and there. Well, mostly in clubs and tv. i'd been to surabaya, bandung, jakarta, everywhere, turns out tat song had becoming a hit. First time i listened to it, it kinda sounds like my dad's old skool. anyhow, not important at all.

i just got into thinking,
about paradise
then i just jot down some thoughts, to me paradise is

• the singapore great sale
• 80% sale in nine west, gucci and mango
• having a building for my incorporation
• reading a very very excellent psychology book
• an excellent tall glass of latte
• laying down on my bed, lights off, dave kozz tune is on
• a gala dinner with close family and friends
• a hot summer sunset, any beach will do
  
• getting lost in my own thoughts
  

Yes, the most applicable of all,
my paradise = lost in my own imaginary wonderland
ahh yes, i'm a dreamer.
The best escape sometimes is not physical,
sometimes the best quick escape is done in your head,
mentally speaking.

Well, as long as you are not obsessed with your imagination, and still can endure the life in the world of reality, i would say that day dreaming is very very healthy and is adviceable --> is there such a word adviseable? Hey afterall, all the smartest inventions that we enjoy today, like mobile fone and television, were born from someone's day dreaming.

anyhow, my paradise is not a world of scientific innovation. it's more like a world of fairytale. Imagine if you can have a personality that you do not possess in reality. Imagine if you have the power, fame and fortune that you do not own in reality (just yet!!!). Imagine if you could say the thing that you wish to say to someone in the real world, if you could give what you do not have, if you could treat someone the way your heart really desires. You make the rule. it's your own paradise.

There are these characters that do not exist in reality, but you really want to meet, because you think it would be amazing if such a person will come into your life. I know, blame Hollywood and fictional novels. Blame history and blame your own imagination. I dont know about you, but everytime i watch a james bond movie, damn i want to meet someone in reality who is just as charming as suave as cool as him. but well even in reality, pierce brosnan is not as interesting as the person that he plays in the movie. So does brad pitt or tat good looking guy who plays superman.

OR sometimes, there is a real person whom you have known in the real world. The particular person is a nice and wonderful. But then you think to yourself, he or she will be more interesting if she possess a certain personality. you wonder how your relationship and that particular person will change if there is a slightly different new personality added. A shy person, whom you change in your wonderland to become a very assertive person.

welcome to my paradise, where you are going to meet this character whom i name, kryptonite. You've heard me using the name for more than once. well, the character is not reffered to one particular person. but to many people who possess some similar characteristics. I've met a number of people who have kryptonite gene in their DNA.

People who are unreasonably smart, damn, some of them are purely genius. They are manipulative, controlling, and like to play with people's mind. These people are too confident, too arrogant but charming to the point of irresistable. These people are undoubtly charismatic and gorgeous in person. They can make people to believe that they are larger than life.

You just dont know when and how, you are started to be smitten emotionally by them. They rock your world, turn your world upside down. They say things that you really want to hear, they sweep you off your feet ala a knight in the shinning armour. You come to the point when everything that they say become very convincing and true to you. You lost your personality and your own self in their presence. You become like someone with no confidence, just like a little innocent child, being blinded by their charm and intelligence. At one point they turn from a sweet delight to a poison. But somehow, you have turned into an addict. that particular person has becoming your weakness. a weakness that you cannot escape, is what kryptonite is.

IF one name or two suddenly appear in you mind then you have met that species. If you dont know what i am talking about, well, just take this as an early notification. May be one day you will experience the encounter, and by then shall i say to you: do enjoy the moment, because it only lasts seconds. at least that how it always turns out in my wonderland.

So yesh, it's 10 am. time to go to work. bye bye wonderland. ow, hellow paperworks! gotta run now. au revoir.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
.According to his/ her answer, how smart is the person who sends this posting?
bebeh linceu? her significant strength is intrapersonal skill. you should know how dangerous
that is. hahahaha rite beh? oohh..... on second thought, perhaps you don't wanna know. for your
own sake :)


mbakk jusman yaa.. untung sajah Tuhan suda menyelamatkan dia.. kalo tidak pasti suda
jadi atheist ato free thinker ato psikopat cantik sperti di film basic instinct.. sudahlaahh pakai saja otakmu untuk mencari uang nakk daripada buat "PLAYING MIND GAMES..!!"


Caroline has multiple personalities and one genius brain

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

so here it goes,

we were sitting on his private jet, champagne on the right hand and chocolate on the left.

"how's the champagne, angel?"
"bittersweet."
"You sound a bit tense. do you want another shoot?"
"cant hide being nervous and feeling uncomfortable."
"That's the first time i hear my angel being honest about her feeling. you are nervous in my presence, angel?"

i smiled. nervously. of course i am nervous. i'm in his private jet, and i cant play cool with him. he's my boss. for gucci sake.

He stared at me for a second too long, then he says

"can tell you something? i dont like my life. cant do what i really want to do, have to live under my dad's shadow, have to put on a mask every morning i wake up. i dont recognise who i am anymore, just living in the borderline of insanity. Making money is the only thing that keeps me insync. i dont know what else to do, just know that it's the only purpose of my existence."
"but you got to do what you want to do rite?"
"yeah. like playing golf, spending the weekend in europe, acquiring new lands here and there"
"i mean what you really want to pursue?"
"What do i want to pursue? my life is predestined by my father, angel. i cannot have a dream."
"but you have one, right?"
"day after day i just remind myself, that i should be thankful for what i have"
"Are you happy with what you have"
"haha. name one person who wouldnt trade place with me, angel?"
"Ever been in love?"
"Why do you ask me that?"
"Because a person who has experienced love never said he doesnt like his life"
"then you know what the answer is."
"Really? never has anyone special?"
"I've been engaged once. i thought i loved her. how couldnt i love her? she is the most perfect woman God could ever created. but then i left her for my job, and it didnt hurt at all. so i just think, if i could not love a perfect woman, then love just does not cup of tea. IT does not gives me satisfaction at all"
"i see. what a wonderful life, boss."
"hahaha. but somehow you have brought a new colour to my life, angel. You are different to any other women, well any other person whom i have ever met. i feel safe when you are around."
"safe?"
"You know. i make too many sins in my life. having a guardian angel by my side might delay the punishment by God."
"that means a lot. coming from you"

"Anyway. with the flashD report. what do you put for bridging proposal?"
"I think the johsnon analysis is applicable for the.."
"Are you kidding me? You'd be doomed to fail if you applying that principle. Johnson only applies for micro business. we're talking about multi million dollar project. use your cum laude brain, woman! no time for playing around! Here's how you should do it..."

After a while, i am kinda getting used to with mr. krytonite's temprament. HE can be very sweet and fragile at once, then the next minute, he's back into becoming a cold hearted CEO. without any notice, of course. IT does not matter how hard you try to do your best, you will never be able to meet his expectations. He will always comes up with much more brilliant things that you could never thought of. As much as i want to hate him, my fascination and adoration for his brilliant minds just keep growing.

"by the way angel, i do have a dream. but i cant tell you just yet"

confession of a stressful workaholic

went home today around 3 pm and literally had a headache (it lasted til now)
Took a short nap, eating chocolate, drinkin coffee and playin with hugo, but the head is still spinning. So i sat in my indoor garden at home, starring and doing more thinking.

"Did i spend too much on that outlet?"
"Should i retreat my distribution in tat place or hold a little longer?"
"What compensation should i give to tat person?"
"expenses here, expenses there, margin equals return?"
"WHAT THE HEWW...!!!"

i'd been working before, been doing business before and living a fast paced life just like now. And now i remember vividly how it felt like. ARGH..!! you just cannot take your mind even for one second from your job. When i was a jobless person, living in la la land, i've olweis told my boyfren (and my ex boyfren who is a 10 times workaholic) to slow down, to not being to preoccupied with their jobs and all. but now, look who eats her own words?

all biz are polished from the outside but the itsy bitsy things on the inside are the ones that count. Those are the ones that needed to be taken care the most, the foundation of all. And they are the ones that create this headache that i suffer. I cannot even rest my mind because as soon as i stop doing something, these brain cells are functioning and refuse to accept my orders. Worse than that, my melancholy DNA just cause them to think of negative thoughts other than positive thoughts. IT always figures out the "Worst possible scenario" other than good motivations. It drains me out. Why am i so cynical?

Before i destroy my passion to work, i put a brake to these negative thoughts. I just feed my brain wif positive food. HA! my good friend, googleDOTcom is exactly where i went. i typed "SUCCESS FROM THE SCRATCH" and found countless reads on people who had been through worse than me. Those who had to endure years and years of nothing to produce something. But persistence pays off, as well. IT works for them, it will work for me as well, huh?

Funnily, out of millions of source, my hand "coincidently" leads me to articles in which the entrepreneurs "pray to ask direction from God", "cannot go through all these without a strong faith in God" and i am about to break down and cry. i think to myself. So gud-dem-true! I would not make it half way if i dont have a convinction that God is behind me throughout the way.

So my dearest friends, the moral of the story here: Trust what the american dollar bill says: IN GOD WE TRUST. the only thing to keep you sane. That's all folks.