so, i settle down in front of the computer, with a glass of water (haha! yes that's new. i'm reducing the caffeine intake, for as long as only God knows when, to improve my health) I think dunia ini memang sudah edan! Scorpio goes to church every sunday and Corleone is turning into a Gym freak. And their ex-girlfriend, moi, has not been to church since Christmas and never exercised, but keep binging on chocolate brownies. AH! and corleone keep quoting bible verses (thou his knowledge is very limited) when talking to me. I have officially become the bandel gurl who needs dikasi kuliah padat.
Afterall has been said and done, i've got into thinking about relationship again. I was talking to my dear salsa on the fone for an hour, during office hours, about relationship 100 (yes, we're back to the basics since she's stil 18). We're talking about "the package" of a potential boyfriend. She said, "cie caroline enak yah, pacarnya cakep2, keren2, smart, romantis lagi. Uda deh, tinggal merem ajah milih salah satu"
Her comment is absolutely right, except that they are in the wrong order. Harusnya: milih ajah salah satu terus tinggal merem. Well, what do you think the catch of having a so called perfect boyfriend anyway? Sebagai perempuan, yang memang sudah kodratnya untuk mengalah, we all have agreed that the more perfect a man is, the bigger the sacrifice that we have to make to retain them. My last exboyfriend, whom i will name moscato starting from now on, said "yah kalo semua yang keren terlalu perfect (baik), kasian kita yang biasa2 aja dong. gak kebagian apa2" Sudah pasti semua high quality bachelors itu banyak maunya, afterall that's what make them irresistable right? They know how to play their cards.
"Yah mau sampe kapan putting your heart on russian roullete, dear? Dating a romeo sih sama ajah kaya nanem bom waktu. Tinggal tunggu kapan waktunya hati kamu bakal meledak lagi." Begitulah nasehat temen2 saya after everytime i break up with 'em. I kept trying to prove them wrong, but over and over again, they're the one who prove me wrong. I tried to have a relationship with a decent guy whom in the end we are not connected emotionally, i tried to have a relationship with a bachelor who confessed that "dia sudah bertobat" and wanted a serious relationship, but after one year of trying to be a good boyfriend, his inner "buaya" minta dikasi makan.
Very true indeed, that we are all greedy human beings who want the perfect person with the perfect personality, and having the perfect relationship. Kalaupun ada orang yang perfect dan personality yang luar biasa mantap, pasti relationshipnya gak perfect karena kurang seru. Corleone has always treated me good, giving me his 100% trust, allows me to do anything that i want, taking me to romantic dinner everynow and then, and for some occassion he gives me red roses. But then, because everything seems to good to be true, i have always suspect that there must be something hidden under the rugs. But he has always said the right thing and that makes me to go insane. There never been jealosy, anger, tuntutan ini itu, the relationship becomes well, not very stimulating. It's very "carrie and aidan"
So bottom line, i tell my dear salsa, yah sudahlah, memang lebih enak menjomblo sajah. Lebih bagus buat kesehatan. Jablay itu lebih sehat daripada makan hati. Yah, se-engganya until we find out what we really want, has becoming a more stable and realistic person. Because it takes 2 mature people to tango until the curtain calls. To my defence for all of those who said that i cannot keep a relationship, well, i am admitting to that fact. Mungkin memang saya yang salah. Saya yang kurang bisa mengalah, kurang sabar and dont know how to be a good girlfriend. But i am a very good friend. In fact, i'm still having a relationship with my exes, a platonic one, that is. It's better than having 7 years relationship then never to speak to each other again. jadi, final note to my ex-slash-good-friends: we're good now, huh?
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