when oh when will i ever be cured from this disease? *hatchiuu... uhuk! uhuk!*
i've been treated in hospital for 2 days and thank gudness the hospital is just totally awesome, just like a 4 star hotel (hey! trying to be positive here..) They sent me food every 3 hours, the taste aint so bad indeed. Hey the good thing about being sick is that you can eat as much and you wont gain even a single pound.
I got this wristband from the hospital that stated the date when i got in. it was: 30/10/06 (00:43:26)
30th?
7 months ago, precisely at this very hour: i just said yes to a relationship proposal. (haha. sounds like a marriage proposal, yes?) and i was like "how could this hospital incident happen at the very day,at my jadian date?" At that very time being, i was kinda in a silent war with my darling. You know gurls, the moments when you feel that he is the one making the mistake and he should apologise first, but the he thinks that you are making a big deal out of something that is completely not worth fighting for.
Yes. i realised that both of us are equally arrogant, selfish, stubborn, and never want to lose and argument. (why am i always falling for that kind of guy?) Yes, those traits are appealing to me to the fact that stubborn and selfish men are always the ambitious, high achiever, independent and natural born leaders. (ehm) But yes, to the downside, when it comes to personal life, they still want to be the boss as if they're running the office. Fine, 21 years of dating the exact same breed of men at least give me some experiences on how to deal with that specific species, am i right?
How to deal with them?
The secret is to deal with yourself first.
Never expect the other person to change. none of your business. if you are not happy with the way your relationship goes, the one that you need to change is yourself. Really, it does not matter whose fault it is anyway. I've been so miserable in the past 3 days for the sake of defending my "so-called-principles". I've missed the big picture: i'm losing the trust and the joy in my relationship.
Gez, i think God has to bring me to hospital first to make me realise what matters the most.
I had so much free times while lying down on the hospital bed that i began to read joyce's best selling book. The battlefield of the mind. YES ALL OF YOU, THE DEEP-THINKER BREED. YOU ARE SO NEEDING THIS BOOK!
Only the i realised, that i was deceived by my own logics, my own understanding, that the devils had been using the weakness that i have always thought to be my strength, my brain. I thought my specialty is screwing people's brain and emotions (even the hospital psychiatrist had given up on me. I tried the basic instinct tricks on him muahaha) but hey actually, the father of lies have been messing up with my brain, that i lost the thing that matter the most,
and hey, after we realised our sins and asked for God's forgiveness, HE takes care business for me. I was ready to get the white flags out, call him first and yes actually saying sorry first. I dont want to make a big deal by telling him that i was laying on hospital bed, so that he will feel bad and he will have to be super nice to his sick gurlfren. But, i just did not know how the guy just showed up in my suite. "shouldnt you be at sukarno-hatta by now?" Well, he was. Bue he cancelled his flight and accompanied me all day in the hospital. And he ended up doing all the speech. (you know, the" i'm sorry i did this because this this and that") alritee, i think we've just ended the worst and longest silent war (the total of 3 days of total silent, and 2 days of sms only haha) in our 7months old relationship.
okay okay, let me share you some goss. I have so many friends saying that they never seen me to be happier than this. some of my closest friends know that my darling is not really exactly my type of guy. But magically saying, this is the first relationship in which i never have any serious issue, not even a single one issue, to fight about. We are talking to each other everyday, and if i am not mistaken, the more we talk, the more we will find an issue to argue about, well at least that's my personality. I love to argue about differences, about expectations, about different view in life, everything.
But so far. the only argument that we had is that : he wants me to wear earings. i dont want him to want me to wear earings. Not that i dont like to wear earings. I just dont like people to tell me what to and not to wear. Bitchy huh? haha. But yes. that's it! and he had decided to live with that. Other than that.everything is peachy keen. SO yep, if anyone asking. i'm happy. tomorrow is the first day of our 8th month.
I got this wristband from the hospital that stated the date when i got in. it was: 30/10/06 (00:43:26)
30th?
7 months ago, precisely at this very hour: i just said yes to a relationship proposal. (haha. sounds like a marriage proposal, yes?) and i was like "how could this hospital incident happen at the very day,at my jadian date?" At that very time being, i was kinda in a silent war with my darling. You know gurls, the moments when you feel that he is the one making the mistake and he should apologise first, but the he thinks that you are making a big deal out of something that is completely not worth fighting for.
Yes. i realised that both of us are equally arrogant, selfish, stubborn, and never want to lose and argument. (why am i always falling for that kind of guy?) Yes, those traits are appealing to me to the fact that stubborn and selfish men are always the ambitious, high achiever, independent and natural born leaders. (ehm) But yes, to the downside, when it comes to personal life, they still want to be the boss as if they're running the office. Fine, 21 years of dating the exact same breed of men at least give me some experiences on how to deal with that specific species, am i right?
How to deal with them?
The secret is to deal with yourself first.
Never expect the other person to change. none of your business. if you are not happy with the way your relationship goes, the one that you need to change is yourself. Really, it does not matter whose fault it is anyway. I've been so miserable in the past 3 days for the sake of defending my "so-called-principles". I've missed the big picture: i'm losing the trust and the joy in my relationship.
Gez, i think God has to bring me to hospital first to make me realise what matters the most.
I had so much free times while lying down on the hospital bed that i began to read joyce's best selling book. The battlefield of the mind. YES ALL OF YOU, THE DEEP-THINKER BREED. YOU ARE SO NEEDING THIS BOOK!
Only the i realised, that i was deceived by my own logics, my own understanding, that the devils had been using the weakness that i have always thought to be my strength, my brain. I thought my specialty is screwing people's brain and emotions (even the hospital psychiatrist had given up on me. I tried the basic instinct tricks on him muahaha) but hey actually, the father of lies have been messing up with my brain, that i lost the thing that matter the most,
1 corithians 13
and hey, after we realised our sins and asked for God's forgiveness, HE takes care business for me. I was ready to get the white flags out, call him first and yes actually saying sorry first. I dont want to make a big deal by telling him that i was laying on hospital bed, so that he will feel bad and he will have to be super nice to his sick gurlfren. But, i just did not know how the guy just showed up in my suite. "shouldnt you be at sukarno-hatta by now?" Well, he was. Bue he cancelled his flight and accompanied me all day in the hospital. And he ended up doing all the speech. (you know, the" i'm sorry i did this because this this and that") alritee, i think we've just ended the worst and longest silent war (the total of 3 days of total silent, and 2 days of sms only haha) in our 7months old relationship.
okay okay, let me share you some goss. I have so many friends saying that they never seen me to be happier than this. some of my closest friends know that my darling is not really exactly my type of guy. But magically saying, this is the first relationship in which i never have any serious issue, not even a single one issue, to fight about. We are talking to each other everyday, and if i am not mistaken, the more we talk, the more we will find an issue to argue about, well at least that's my personality. I love to argue about differences, about expectations, about different view in life, everything.
But so far. the only argument that we had is that : he wants me to wear earings. i dont want him to want me to wear earings. Not that i dont like to wear earings. I just dont like people to tell me what to and not to wear. Bitchy huh? haha. But yes. that's it! and he had decided to live with that. Other than that.everything is peachy keen. SO yep, if anyone asking. i'm happy. tomorrow is the first day of our 8th month.
Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person
1 corinthians 13:7
1 corinthians 13:7
No comments:
Post a Comment