day after day

then:
woke up 10:30
okay no, i lied. it's 12:00 haha
dandan and pili2 baju for 2 hours
then hav lunch
then go to gym
then go shopping
then go nyalon
then go home doin friendster til night
then dinner and chit chat wif family
then call my boyfriend
then i sleep

now:
woke up at 9. sometimes at 7
dandan and pili2 baju for 30 mins top.
then goin places: from one customer to another
then stuk at the office doing mails and admin stuff
then calling here and there: nagihhh utangg..
then goin places round two
then goin and goin til 9 pm
then dinner and chit chat wif family
then on the fone wif him
then i sleep

feel like i'm bak in the uni days. dont have any chance to do my nails and hairdo. My skin desperately needs immediate treatment. had skipped facial appointments in a month and my gym membership is expired. My shopaholic disease is cured, that's one good side of the story. Afterall,why was i so proud for being a shopaholic. it's a disease of lacking self control and responsibility. (but i dont mind suffering it once in a while though) Continue... my junkfood consumption is increased at a rapid level. I was eating mie ABC for three days in a row, just because i hav to eat and dont bother to pick a restaurant. then caffeine intake is increasing at a steady level haha (blame the workloads, baby!)

anyhow, i used to be having fabulous life. IF you saw me back then in perth then compare it to me-pre-working-stage. You will notice the difference straightaway. Rambut selalu fresh wangi shampo salon, kuku panjang melenting dengan french manicure, muka is hasil rajin jet pill treatment. i've tried all kinds of massages in bandung dari yang traditional jawa, sumatra, sampe negri antah berantah. Terurus abis. bukannya persiapan te-pai, just because i hav nothing to do here. ya udahlah memaksimalkan asset yang ada haha but now that i dun hav the tyme to do all those, i think my life is ever more faboulous. it's fabulous to the max.

I rather spend hours talking to a business manager than my hair therapist discussing which vitamins i hav to use for my hair. I rather be stucked in traffic jam while goin places then spending one day in a shopping mall. I do not lie this time. i really do! I dont know about you, but doing something that gives you a sense of achievement is much more satisfying then indulging in things that only polish you superficially.

Moreover, let me share sum things wif you fellow ladies, if you are doin a biz together wif your man, you got into much much lesser fighting sessions. Before work, i used to throw tantrum at simple things. I got jealous at something that doesnt make any sense at all. Why? just because i had so much free times not to think about anything. So i scrutinised him to the tinies detail and everything just makes me explode. Now that we have so much things, other than feelings, to talk about, simple things just dont matter anymore. OF course we have "business fights" that kinda things, but professional argumentation is my cup of tea. I love debating people when it comes to money terms haha. IT's a secret ya. dont tell my baby!

Bottom line, of course i love watching fashion tv, reading vogue for hours and hours, everyone who met me just said "widihh lin2 sih idupnya uda everyday is holiday" but if that's the only destiny a gurl can hav, well it is very very sad. IT aint living everyday to the fullest. what's the point of having degree if it only takes you as far as the shopping centre? Just personal opinion thou, if you live a thriving, fast paced, challenging kind of life, whatever that means to you, you will be ressuracted back to life.

another story to tell

Hello
1800- heaven on earth?
Haha. Tat’s so lame
I would like to speak with the most beautiful angel there?

That is the lamest line ever
Well I did not mean it’s you
Haha. You got me there
So, how you been angel?
Tired. Been working my ass off.

Yah, what are you up to?
Economic review. That’s what I do. There’s this company capitol pty. ltd.
Yeah I heard you are doing their finance. That’s one huge company. I’m impressed
I don’t know how a company that messy could make millions everyday.

I can tell you how
Haha. Bulls. I’ve been working on their reports for months and found nothing
Number one: tax deductions. Number two: investment on parents company. Number three their CEO is a genius

I read from forbes that he made dangerous move. I also heard he’s still very young in age.
Only 5 years older than you, angel. Very smart very courageous. He bought undervalued land overseas and turned them into gold mines. He negotiated to become the sole distributor for the state government over the period of 20 years ahead. All projects are financed by the parent company and of course by the tax payers of the United States of America. He doesn’t need economic paper works bullshit to make millions of dollar everyday.

How the hell do you know all these?
Because I’m the young and smart CEO we’ve been talking about
Bulls

Haha. That’s not an appropriate way to talk to your boss
Well, it’s past office hour already. We shall continue by tomorrow then
Don’t. hang up. You got me there. Haha.
Then why do I still need to do this paperwork bullshit?
Corporate governance. We’re a public company. The stakeholders need to see things in print.

So, should I write what you’ve told me?
Well. No need angel, they don’t need to know what I do. As long as I keep injecting funds, they don’t care where the money comes from. Just put some demand supply curve that you learnt on high school and put some economic terms to confuse those corporate worms.
Your comment is very degrading. I’ll file my resignation paper tomorrow

No. Don’t get me wrong. I am telling you all these in fact because I want to offer you a promotion. Of course with a side of a pay rise


State me an offer I could not refuse.
Ah. Godfather. I love the godfather.
I don’t. I think Michael Corleone is the biggest scum of all.
Then you should marry him. Because that’s what his wife says.

Anyhow angel, there is this grand opening party for our sub division in Sydney. I want you to fly there next week with me.

I don’t mix business with personal agenda.
Who’s mixing what? Don’t be too arrogant angel. As the CEO of Capitol, I only see you as one of my employee. I give you an official order as the company’s financial officer to conduct an evaluation on our building project there.


(I hold the tears in that are going to flow from my eyes. His words are always very hurtful, very degrading, and disrespectful but then I said)
Order is accepted, sir.

Good. So can I take you for downtown shopping tomorrow? It would be cold down there. A minx fur coat will look good you. You have 10 thousand dollar in total to spend. Company budget, my dear. Besides, I don’t want my stuff to look ugly in front of my valuable clients?

Do you always spend 10 thousand for an employee’s uniform?
No. This is the first time I employ an angel. She’s too precious that I have to spare a budget to dress her. The other mortals, well they can go with the chippo uniform.

That’s the thing about Mr. million dollar kryptonite. One minute he can make you feel much degraded because he said hurtful things. But the next minute he just makes you feel like a million dollar baby, because of all the compliments and praises that only him can say.

lately

• j'co craving mode: on!
• Caffeine dosage: accelerated
• compulsive shopping behaviour: kambuh..
• kelayapan 24 hours -> burutss cerita kita ga abis2 yaa..
• loving the job of distribution (mixing business with much needed pleasure)
  
• epriday is holiday: tour de-java in 7 days
• my darling's 28th
• gaining 3 pounds due regards to j'co glaze
• enjoying complimentary wine and transport from valuable customers
• becoming my director boyfren's PA
  
• berantem wif my lazy-arse SPG
  
• cant put down sherlock holmes novel
  
• hurtin my ankles after being forced to live in 10cm spike heels, courtesy to my beloveth
• tanned skin, thanks to surabaya and semarang
• indulging in too many glasses of shiraz and merlot
• high flyers of garuda, mandala, sriwijaya and of course deraya
• forced to eat airport food, thanks to 5 hours delay by mandala airlines
• initial attraction: the city of Surabaya
  

favourite travelling items:

• big fat furla snakeskin tote
• davidoff echo woman moisturaizer
• jarah coffeemix instant
• kartu dominos (co tai ti?)
• listerine strips
• sherlock holmes novel
• ipod nano
• dior gloss

favourite travelling partner

• my hunnehh..
• burruttzz

oh well, my holiday is approching its dateline in 2x24 hours. it shall be extended. it shall be full of fun full of blast. as i've told you before,
sebelun janur kuning melengkung,
sebelun peruts buntings
selama credit card masi bisa digesek
selama hayat masi dikandung badan,

.. have fun, go mad!

and finally, got my darling to admit my credibility: i am a big spender, but a big earner as well. therefore, all wishes shall be granted.

a jungian convert

it's been a year since i've been putting much thoughts on a human being's antagonist side. Some have read my writings on the antagonist persona that exist unconsciously in our mind and efforts that we should make to recognise and diminish their influence.

I was shocked in awe, when i found that this theory is validated by a well-recognised philosopher from the 18th century.(damn, why did i apply to cbs instead of psycology school. i might make a gud mental doctor)

His work and reputation are being compared to ones by the father of pyschology, Sigmund freud. How come i've never heard of his name before, until last week that is. Well, this guy name is carl jung. Ended up spending hours to study his theories and philosophies of life. I just fall in love with his philosophies. Now that i convert from a freudian to a jungian, i shall apply more and more teachings of his other than freud's pieces.

Superstition and accident manifest the will of God.

• A shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.

• All the works of man have their origin in creative fantasy. What right have we then to depreciate imagination.

• An inflated consciousness is always egocentric and conscious of nothing but its own existence. It is incapable of learning from the past, incapable of understanding contemporary events, and incapable of drawing right conclusions about the future. It is hypnotized by itself and therefore cannot be argued with. It inevitably dooms itself to calamities that must strike it dead.

• Anyone who wants to know the human psyche will learn next to nothing from experimental psychology. He would be better advised to abandon exact science, put away his scholar's gown, bid farewell to his study, and wander with human heart throughout the world. There in the horrors of prisons, lunatic asylums and hospitals, in drab suburban pubs, in brothels and gambling-hells, in the salons of the elegant, the Stock Exchanges, socialist meetings, churches, revivalist gatherings and ecstatic sects, through love and hate, through the experience of passion in every form in his own body, he would reap richer stores of knowledge than text-books a foot thick could give him, and he will know how to doctor the sick with a real knowledge of the human soul.

Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people.

Sentimentality is a superstructure covering brutality.

• Sometimes, indeed, there is such a discrepancy between the genius and his human qualities that one has to ask oneself whether a little less talent might not have been better.

• The achievements which society rewards are won at the cost of diminution of personality.

• The attainment of wholeness requires one to stake one’s whole being. Nothing less will do; there can be no easier conditions, no substitutes, no compromises.

• The creation of something new is not accomplished by the intellect but by the play instinct acting from inner necessity. The creative mind plays with the objects it loves.

• The greatest and most important problems of life are all fundamentally insoluble. They can never be solved but only outgrown.

• The healthy man does not torture others - generally it is the tortured who turn into torturers.

• The images of the unconscious place a great responsibility upon a man. Failure to understand them, or a shirking of ethical responsibility, deprives him of his wholeness and imposes a painful fragmentariness on his life.

• The least of things with a meaning is worth more in life than the greatest of things without it.

• The man who promises everything is sure to fulfil nothing, and everyone who promises too much is in danger of using evil means in order to carry out his promises, and is already on the road to perdition.

• The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.

• The most intense conflicts, if overcome, leave behind a sense of security and calm that is not easily disturbed. It is just these intense conflicts and their conflagration which are needed to produce valuable and lasting results.

• The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.

• We are so captivated by and entangled in our subjective consciousness that we have forgotten the age-old fact that God speaks chiefly through dreams and visions.

• Vocatus atque non vocatus, Deus aderit. (Called or uncalled, God is present.)

kryptonite files, part 2

so, another round of date?
it's not a date, it's a lunch
haha. you like him already.
no way.
Well, dont be.
What? you are the one who sets us up
I told you i owe him my life, but dont fall for that predator darling.
Predator huh? it's an understatement. He wants to be called the devil
An angel and a devil. how romantic!

So, ready to break the law again?
Where could we possibly go? the white house may be?
May be next time. For now, let's have lunch in the central train station.
What?

I have never known they have a fine dining restaurant in the train station.
I know that you dont know
that's offensive
I am offensive and irresistable
(that's true. Damn)
I mean, you're the kind of angel that dwells in the sanctuary right? not the guardian angel that flies around everyday.
Offensive and sweet-talker
hahaha

So, are you a philosophy person angel?
nietzche and carl jung wrote interesting things
ha, i worship nietzche. good choice
of course, you do. you call yourself the devil
haha. you're the one who read him. so what are you then? a fallen angel?
what, no! no way. i am just kinda into something different
eventhough it's against your own belief?
well, test drive. no intention to buy

That's why you are here having lunch with the devil, angel.
It's against your logical reasoning, but you just cannot resist me
it's called the original sin. the temptation to the flesh. the sin of lust
haha. you are so arrogant. you're saying like i'm lusting for you
aren't you, angel?
you wish
haha. look, who's the arrogant one here?
i'm sorry, i didnt mean it that way
No prob. I know you like me already.

Listen
(he stares deeply into my eyes)
first date is a test drive
second date is you are putting the down payment
and i just need another date to make you mine

As much as i hate what he said, i cannot deny the statement
As much as i want to leave, i dont want this conversation to end

the kryptonite himself is too arrogant, too charming, too manipulative, too sweet, too intriguing, too fascinating, too charismatic, too confident, too fragile, too devilishly good looking, too annoying and entertaining at the same time.
I just cant fight this feeling. this is the fight that i know i cant win. There is nothing that i can do, i just cant escape the all the words he had planted in my head.

so i decide,
to fall.

something to know

i was surprised to know that people i dont really know do read my blog sometimes. I received messages in FS commenting about the content of my blog. "It's entertaining and funny" I am flattered and embarrased at the same time. I've been reading my blog and found that the content is like 80% full of crap, with many wrong spelling and wrong grammar haha. oh well, i shud put something less dumb than what i put ya?

anyhow, i was late for my meeting wif premier (thanks to italy versus germany last night), dont have time to do my hair. So, after the meeting was over i went to Roger's to get it washed and blow-dried. I couldnt stay in a salon without a stack of reading materials, so i asked for "semua majalah bazaar" that they have, ow and not forgetting "coffeemixnya dua"

I was stucked with an article about breast implants. The article is a kind of FAQ stating the exact place where you insert the silicone, the materials used to enlarge those assets to the risk of a failed implementation (damn. not pretty at all) Well, as much as i do not judge those who want to have one, i might be given an opportunity to share some funny risks attached to it. Here are some:

• Your body may “over-heal” by forming a tight scar capsule around the implant, which can cause the breast to appear artificially round and feel unnaturally firm. This may occur on one or both sides.
• Decreased Nipple Sensation – This is more likely to occur in larger implants.
  
• Shifting – The implant may move after surgery, causing discomfort or abnormal breast shape.

The other risks are more serious and dangerous, but by knowing these possible risks alone, i wont dare to go under the knife. Well, who want abnormal breast shape anyway?

Okay, so done with surgery thing, i learn something kind of interesting while browsing through friendster today. I'd be honest with you. I am very happy at this stage of life and relationship where i stand right now. But somehow, somewhat i found myself still curious about the memories that i have left behind. Not that i wish i've done something different to my past. I dont live life with regret. But, there are always butterflies and stomach tingles when you recall all the sweet memories that you once had experienced. For that reason only, i used to browsed through "the past"

Well, sometimes the accomplishments of "the past" have made me a little tender inside. Whether the past are ex-crush-es, ex-boyfriends, ex-boyfriend's girlfriends, sum biatchz who used to make my lyfe miserable, some gurls whom once i got partying with, some hi-bye's, some used-to-be-the-IT-gurls or the biggest players in town. If i see how far they've gone since the last point i left their lives, it kinda has some effects on me. Effects like: intimidation, envy, curiousity, pity sumtimes, any many2 other feelings that come at once.

But then again i think, why the hew do i care too much about the past? I was looking at a page of a beautiful friend who was being in a very long term relationship. Now that she's out of the deep root, she has taken the world. she has the slogan "single and fabulous" printed on her forehead. Fabulous career, fabulous shoes, fabulous social life (i mean, she's on vacation every month) .*damn i miss single days* OR a mantan who is goin to get married. *Hum, that's a hard one as well*.

Anyway, since i found tat obsessive checking out can only cause negativity on me, i stop. I mean they have a fabulous life, but so do i. so, i've made a pact with my inner self. Until my past can do no more effect on me , only by then i will allow myself to check out on them again.Well, for now, i just want to remember all the fabulous things that currently are happening to me. Hey someone might be single and fabulous, but i am proud to say, i am taken and loving it. Message of the day: dont envy anyone, you are fabulous. *mwahh*