another extraordinary day

ON sUNdaY..!! i went to church twice...The ROCKS in the morning and Riverview church at nite
Great worship, Great sercmon...feel like i'm being re-charged all the way :)
moreover..my bf is coming to the morning church wif me...hehehehe well babe,if u read tis posting, just know tat eventhough i didnt say anything...wat u did was beyond words to express *ehm*
ouu and i luv the pink lilies as well..thank you thank you :) they are more beautiful than white lilies,babe :)

terusss at nite..i went to riverview wif christine, bobz and debby...then private dinner @ terazza wif the one and only miz tine..
di lagu-nya "my boo" kan dibilang..."there's always that one person that will olweis have ur heart" humm to me it is not any guys whom i have met, it will olweis be tis gurlfren whom no matter what she does or no matter how long we would not seeing each other, she is olweis be a person whom i look up to. she is a sister tat i never had :)
eventhough we are not sharing things as often as we used to do, at anytime when we have a private room for two, it is definetely full on, deep, heart to heart, berbobot converstation yea :)

i dont know why yah..cman mgkn because we've been thru load of shit together..terus even when we are not seeing each other every so often..we are still going thru same type of shit..so i feel koneksiong somehow when i share my stuff wif u...sedi nih entar if i dun have a "tine" figure in bandung :( oh well...entar kalo kta udah sama2 tajir..we visit each other every so often huh :)

on MoNDaY..i was driving in my car, and literally crying to God becos i feel tat i screwed up evriting..geez i was planning a trip to sydney,. need to save up to pay my bills.together with countless parking fines, then wat happen just caught up in a tabrakan..dammnit how would i pay for all of those stuff...I was asking God, Lord if U ask me to cast all my worries on You, tis is the time to do it. becoz according to my humanly brain, i would have enuf money to pay them altogether. I just said to the Lord..God just surprised me and meet my need.

Guess wat happen..i won 4000 dollar!! muahahaha....out of the blue, i caught the 92.9 fugitive who walked in m2000 today ..can u believe it..more than just getting the money..i become an overnite celeb hahahaha i went to 92.9 office...got interviewed..*the interview was craP..if u listen to the advertising on radio by me...feel free to laugh..it was a total crap..but who cares!! i was on air for God sake hahaha and i got a huge check and a bottle of champagne...thx God!! well i have to spare the money wif my boss becos he helped me to catch the fugitive...we split the task..he got rid of all the competitors and i chased after the guy..so it's only fair (not!) to share the prize rite ahhahahaha but hey in the end of the day, me and chandra learnt a lesson or two as well...see, this game is on for the people of perth to participate..there are hundreds of people who chase after the fugitive on tat day...we felt hopeless after hours of trying to catch the guys because there were simply to many competitors around. but chandra kept saying to me..."kalo udah berkat loe mah ga bakal kemana" and it did truly happened. eventhough there were many people who saw the fugitive and they tried to stop him,. the guy refused to stop driving and stopped EXACTLY in front of me... i was shaking..it was truly happening guys..it's like..no matter how hard others try..if it's yours..then it is yours hahahah AMEN...

the very next day after tat!! can u believe it!!! i CRASHED another car...O MAI GUCCI!!! tis time it is truly my fault...when the traffic lite turned green...gua udah ngegas padahal mobil di depan maish setop...and VOILA!! bemper dia bonyok and another bill for me... so yeah..bye bye 2000 !!

at the end of the day, i was smilling and crying ahhahaha i am thankful for all the things that i've been thru...it's a lesson for me to learn..Tuhan yang memberi Tuhan jg yang mengambil..padahal i've planned to strade along the street of subiaco and buy a piece of betina liano or Wayne cooper..but yeah...seperti alkitab bilang...waktuku belon tiba hahahahah udah ahh pokoknya i'm still laughing and still thankful

tengkyuuu tengkyuuu...

argh when i tot it's going to stay pretty as it is...it is smashed!!!
i have to clarify for the zillion tymes hahahaha...IT WAS NOT MY FAULT!!!
seriously! you can ask the driver of car tat i smashed haahhaha

and being so me...who knows nothing about everything...
i quickly jumped from the car...got a pen and paper...
ask for driving license and writing down all the plate numbers of the poor guy whose back bumper
is totally ruined bcoz of the tabrakan beruntun
i said to him, ok i'm going to contact ur insurance company, and he just politely answered me
well, actually i have to be the one who make the claim to ur insurance company...because u are behind me
but then it wasnt my fault...i thought to my self..so i decided to call the guru,Chandra!!

actually i just knew..no matter whose fault it is..whoever whose position is behind is liable for damage
being the likiat person tat we are, me and chandra, we tried to look for taktik2 to make me not having to pay..but anyway tat's another story later

anyway, i turned out not to be so dumb abt tis..i call bmw road assistance bcos i said my car was in a very very terrible condition, everything breaks down...and in a minute they arrange a tow truck for me..then i called adel to pick me up...ternyata diah ga dateng sendiri..bawa pasukan gitoh..
ada tine, feli, ivan en martin..ampir mo ada moni sama ein hahahaha tis is wat they siad
"kalo lince yang tabrakan ga cukup satu orang doang yang dateng" ahhahaha
which is beri beri trueee. hahahahahaha i dont know how to open the kap mesin..i tot it has to be opened bakcward..*shame on me!* and moreover, when the tow truck come, they just found out tat it is not tat very very terrible as i have described to the road assistant guy..it is just penyok..just need to change sum plastic ting..humm...*shame on me!* hahahahah but i swear..i thought it was screwed!!

enihow..at the end of the day, my car still can be driven normally..the gals attended me back hom *tengkyu tengkyu* and the very nex day they come to my place *tengkyu tengkyu* menemani aku yang garing2 stuck dirumah..hueheuhe makasssiiii bwat yang nolongin gw from my zillion-th car accident..thx u jg ein, cha2, moni, jon and anto yg make sure tat i was alrite :) appreciate it guys *hugs*

sekedar basa basi dari kantorku....

ok ok..enuf of cerita2 yang tidak nyata yah...well, i hav to make a comment first..people, to be honest, yes some of the parts of the *wat's happening last nite and the morning after* did happen to me..but not all of them..since i posted those postings...i got questioned *makasii hepii ternyata blogspot gw ada yang baca yah ehehhehe -taske, ricka, bur, bobs, inex, ta, dre, ky* whether those are really happening, "which one is you", "is starbucks the ***** guy", "i tink i kno ur mr big" bla bla bla...

i take bits and pieces from everywhere..combine them wif my frens' stories..exegerate and dramatise sum parts to make it more intriguing... i make the characters undefinable and ambiguous becase they are not real..at tis point i olredy named sum characters...starbucks, *then Mr big..*perfect name..truly describes the real person* then there is sha, jane, dean and the protagonist..the "it" gurl.. well leave it for ur own interpretation. asikk...gw jadi kecanduan neh...well...if u want to shoot sum comments or interpretation of ideas...lin u should make tis one nyeleweng wif tat one...ow yeah..bring it on!! heheheh :D

back to real world...argghh!! assignment assignment assignment..*how real can it be!* cant wait till nex month where i can throw my textbook to the rubbish bin..no more school!!! i am so devastated..in the last 3 days..i've lost 2 kilos already..tp kurusnya jelek soalnya udah ga ngegym neh...*kalo bahasanya xenia mah no front and back bumper wuahahahah* *but i tink going to gain the suamchan back soon...bacause of excessive eating behaviour*..i went 8-5, group meeting, church ministry, then straight back to uni to do assgn til 2..go home, sleep, wake up at 6 the nex morning..and do the same thing!! JC have mercyyyyy.....*tirzahh cepetan dateng ksinih urusin esther..gw ga terurus nehh!!* hehehhe

cant wait for sydney!! krispy kreme anyone...galss,we still havent book the hotel, havent we?...hhummphh better start savings savingss..i need shopping funds!! estherrr!! dun go to garden city..i have olweis being tempted to buy tat cue skirt and live's jacket..*bagus pisan ga bohong!!* and of course tat shishedo shimmering creamm *argghh chaaa sampe kebawa mimpi tau gaa hueheueh* Hillsongs hillsongs hillsongs...burr lend me ur CD...!! i have to learn to sing the songs firstt..otherwise wont be jumping up and down wif u in the front row hahahahaha

indo indo indo cannot waitt...niu house niu room niu car...owyeah!! airin,stella,tirsa, ky,liloy,yunki,angie,yan, sisca mari mariiii wait for me yah...let's go party til dawn..alvii mari kta back for gutt ein..san2 adel..hayu atuhlah pulang kampung...let's make money and buy lv huhuy huhuy...arghh udah ahh gara2 kebanyakan belajar jadi edan neh gw...mangga ah cabut dulu...boss besar nguamuk neh gw diajakin ngomong ga konsen hehehehe *maaph chaann* cheerzzz...

phew..easy gurl easyy!!!

hum..i wrote this posting yesterday..and within 12 hours, terus gw udah dimarahin sana sinih...
*hiksss...*
maaph maaph...u guys are right...i've lost my temper ..there i admit it :p
tengkyu tengkyu saya suda dikoreksssiii...emang gw kalo lagi emosi udah dahh
apa jg disamber heuheueh...
arghhh ya udah ah...nih gw edit2 dikit postingnnya biar ga terlalu membabi buta kesannya...
ou btw, note to my sayang..too bad, maaph dah if i post epritink in blogspot hahaha..jadi relationship kta open for public to see hahahahah yah kta kan sama2 exebitionist lah orangnnya yah...jd ga pusing lah yah...high profile ceritanya....latian dulu jadi celebritiss sebelon kmu sama gw jadi konglomerat indonesia heuheue :D

*tuh i can laugh now...even though gw masih nguamukkk sebenernyahhhh*

i dont know hey..whether i still want tis thing or not...this relationship!!
i mean...it's TOO HARD TO BEAR..
these thoughts keep haunting me..
both of us keep fighting for this relationship eventhough we dont know what we've been fighting for
why we want to stay in tis relationship?
i'm not sure if his heart is there? i'm not sure if my heart is there
why stay in a relationship that is so fragile
that can break at anytime? why?
if u cannot find a solution for your fight over principal matters,
small things will keep bothering you and all the emotions will accumulate over and over again
TAT'S how fragile my relationship is!!!!!!!

i cant believe i was thinking about this last year
last month
yesterday
and tonight
here i am, finding a hundred reasons to let him go
and yet, i'm still here...going through another sleepless night
and waking up another day, finding myself
i'm still with him

tat was yesterday posting....
thx to "you know who u are" who has talked me down
i see frm a different lite now...well in regards to my future and my relationship
so let seee laahhh yaaaa

this was happening last night (part 2)

A: hey, u still awake?
B: uh-huh..it's 3 am! wassup gurl?
A: just then i felt like i couldnt breathe
B: what are you up to?
A: starring at my laptop, reading his email
B: who?
A: him who made me cried
B: gurl, it's been 2 yrs already
A: it's going to take a lyfetime for me to forget him
B: are you still in love him?
A: no
B: well then, move on
A: i have. been in love a couple times ever since, and am in love now
B: but you could not love another much as u loved him before
A: i did not say tat
B: do you still cry yourself to sleep?
A: you see, i was alrite. even when i am around his frens, when i hear stuff about him,
reading his email was not a problem for me yesterday. until just then, looking at
his picture broke my heart. he haunts me
B: you never loved someone as much as u loved him
A: we are not meant to be together
B: i wonder how is he doing now?
A: great and sexier [laughs] do you miss him?
B: everything. great boyfriend. would never met another guy like him
A: a bastard slash gentleman in a package, a very sexy package.
B: you have met your match. a manipulator slash innocent heart in a sexy package.
A: [laughs] bulls**t. love is such a waste of tyme.
B: you changed a lot because of him. so did he. two reformed players huh?
A: we were in crazy in love once. [staring at his photo] so much it hurts.
B: he hurt me too. you hurt me too
A: he left me for you
B: but his heart was still yours, and will always be yours. [pause]
would you go back together with him, if there is even a slight chance?
A: not in a million years.[pause] will you?
B: [pause] i am with him now.

[phone hangs up]

this was happening last night...

after months of no contacts, finally we sat down for coffee last nite.

"But deep down inside i know that i fight for it because i want to prove me wrong"
"But what are you trying to prove?"
"that i am not what i thought i am"

"It might appear alright, but dont kill yourself inside"
"just tell me, how hard is it to let go?"
"i have to fight my demon, my ego"

after a period of silence, we were standing in the middle of the rain

"she is just like me, rite? a person who creates boundaries, whom people know only at the surface,
who is arrogant and live by her pride."
"are you asking that just to know wat sort of person i am, or you are trying to finalise your judgement?
"How much are you willing to fight for us?"
"How much are you willing to fight for us?"

"I have to be sure on our ground, otherwise 6 months, 2 years, 10 yrs down the road, we are going to fight about this principle over and over again"

after the glass was broken, i laid awake feeling numb

"what are you listening to?"
"The sounds of heavy raining outside, and the rage inside my head"
"will you cry?"
"no"
"Why did he let you go?"
"He would never knew me, vice versa"

"So, have you defeated your demon?"
"i have turned it into my weapon"
"You are right, you are still you"