choose right

It's good that I accidentally left my fone at home, thou i hav my cdma wif me, now that i have one day off from, well, talking allday long. Funny how snobbish some people could be when it comes to their cellphone. I carry my cdma wif me all the time, but never used it at all. Even when i talk and talk for hours all day, i cant be bothered to use the cdma, thou it would save me big bucks. Some people are aware that they spend a couple hundred thousand rupiah per day just on the fone, those cost will be fractioned only just by dialing the number thru their cdma. But I dont know why, i am one of those shallow and not so smart people, people are still reluctant to switch..

So, now that i dont have my fone wif me, i dont talk to anyone at all. Well, of course i talk to mcdreamy this morning, how could i get thru a day without talking to him? (nyeahnyeah) I dont know what would i do next week, when he is taking off to Korea for a week?! Anyone wants to catch up wif me afterwork?

Anyhow, i'd been thinking, about breaking up and moving on. The thought comes when i was browsing through friendster this morning (correction: all morning) I'd been browsing intensively the pages of my exes, mcdreamy's exes and .. okay now, dont raise your eyebrows on me, as if i'm the only kepo girfriend

on earth who has the urge to check out the boyfriend's exes, SECRETLY (haha!)

Well, for those who are as kepo as i am, you must have experienced the feeling of relief when you found out that all of your bf's exes are already "in a relationship" or better yet "married". Of course the bible teaches us that "love does not envy, covers all and conquers all" , but still, our fight agaist our flesh and ego is lightened up when you know some contenders have withdrawn from the frontline already. They are out off the whole picture, they have their new lives and you could stop assuming scenarios in your mind that (he might still have.. or she might still be..)

moreover, i also check out the pages of my exes.. hum.. well, where should i start? mcdreamy and I used to live in different world, he lives in the land of saints and i lived in the land of alligators, land of lacoste (haha!) So, it's predictable to say that his lovely, nice and Godly exes have all moved onto a new solid relationship, and most of my exes are well, they still live in their happy houses in the land of crocodile. (btw, take notes: never volunteer yourself to become a crocodile hunter, look what happen to steve irwin!!)

So yeah, point is, i just realised again, for the hundreth time, that time does really fly. It moves us from the end of the earth to another end of the earth. I remember where i was last year, September 2006, and now in September 2007, i have been in a totally different place than last year. my job, my house, the people whom i hang out with, even the way i think, the way i speak, my attitude changes a lot in a year. Something, or someone whom used to matter so much in my life, and whom i think would play a significant role for the rest of my life in a time span of a year, disappear. The person is no longer important at all to me is gone without a trace. I have never heard, or would like to hear or know anything about what is going on in that particular person's life as well. not that i hate or have bitterness or things like that, but it's just that, what's the point of keeping in touch with someone whose role has been replaced by someone else. Am i right?

How could it happen this way, i wonder? life is weird.

I dont regret my life, also i never want to swap place with anyone else, or doing my life differently if i had been given another chance, i think i love the way i do my life (including years of wandering around in the land of alligators.) But if i could advice my kids or any baby sisters, i would suggest them to save some kleenex and panadol. Do follow McDreamy's path. It's less rockier than mine and does not cause so much bleeding and pain.