you cannot live, unless you are an addict.

I just got back from a long weekend in Jakarta, and a couple of days of staying in a fast paced city got me into thinking: how fast every single day goes by. I actually don’t have anything particular to do in purpose, but I found myself always actually be doing something while I was there.

There was always something to do, some places to go to, some people to meet, some events that I can participate in, there always are things to keep you occupied. No wonder the days feel to be rolling very quickly, and the thing is, it makes me go insane. We always have to stay alert, we always have to do something, we always on the go, the brain doesn’t pause for a sec, cannot stop to breathe, can’t chill and damn I cant even tidur siang for Gucci sake!

Pardon me for living in Perth half of my life and Bandung for the other half; I don’t get to become a metropolitan kinda chick. As much as I love the gurls in sex and the city, in reality, I am more of the wisteria lane kinda gurl.

Anyhow, every now and then, I wouldn’t mind becoming a temporary resident of a city that never sleeps. So yes, living in Jakarta for me means changing my outfit three to four times a day (no, I don’t count the pjamas and baju rumah) This whole changing outfit slash changing looks phenomenon is intensified by the fact that my darling is a true social butterfly. In accompanying him for meeting numerous people in a day, he demanded me to be polished and dressed in high key, and the thing with guys, they want the ladies to look good but don’t want to wait for us to do the deeds (you know, blow-drying, make-up session and all) so I did most of my make up time in the car. Owyeah, I’m fully trained to do that, at night or noon, in jalan tol or in parking spots, whether the car is moving in 80k or going through bumpy road, I still can draw a straight line with my eyeliner.

Anyway, I cannot help but wonder: how on earth do people manage to stay sane while living a lifestyle in a city so hectic? There was one day, my baby and I had to go around 3 basement level to look for a parking spot for 10 minutes. The parking spaces are so huge, but all spaces are occupied, going round and round in a closed space looking at cars that are parked so close to each other, it almost makes me explodes. Why is this city so frenetic, so chaotic? How do Jakarta people manage to live everyday? Do they just forcing themselves to get used it? Ain’t them realizing what’s going on around them, the clutter, the lack of air to breathe, the thousand of unfamiliar faces who live in the same building, the feeling of insignificance and hideous being in a large crowd, yet very fragile to danger?

Last night, at 12 am while sitting in the 46th floor of bni 46 building, sipping my third glass of shiraz, i got the answer. In my personal observation, i think people manage to stay in-sync because they have an addiction that keeps them alive. Some people are addicted to substance like drugs and alcohol, some highly tolerated addiction in the big city are the addictions to clubbing and smoking, some less harmful yet dangerous addiction are addiction to shopping and intense socialisation, some hidden yet killer addiction are addiction to work and the three letter word starts with the letter s.

An old friend once told me, how could he manage to quit smoking because it is the only cure that works to mend the stress of the day. He knows that smoking is not good, but he rather suffers lung cancer in 15 years time rather than not having anything to do when he comes home to an empty house. Addiction is the place where people can flee from reality, it's like a resting place, at least for a while. But after i think about it, it's not only those who live in big cities, not only those who want to flee from chaos who need addiction, those who want to flee from boredom also do addictive behaviour. I mean, who doesnt have addiction these days?

I am fully aware of the fact that i myself am having an addiction that i cannot, and dont want to let go. I'm fully recovered from my compulsive shopping behaviour since i my parents decided it's time for me to pay my own credit card bills *sigh* but with this addiction to caffeine. damn. i dont know what to do to quit? i've tried everything that i knew to help me stop, but in the end i am just doomed to fail. but yeah, my baby has decided that he will live with that.

Anyhow, i think i wrote too much, so i better put this to an end. Bottom line, there is one addiction that i know is good for you physically, emotionally and spiritually. The more you are addicted to it, the better your life will become both in short and long term. It's the addiction for JC. Go and get addicted.