a woman's friday night blues: decoded

Damn, why is it so hard to get in the mood to do some stuff for work? You know, since i have decided to do some teaching to occupy my free times, i did not realise i was setting myself up for loads and loads of homework. Feel like i'm back at uni days. I enjoy teaching so much, especially teaching my new kid, little ian. Goodness me, he's so cute (he'll be a heartrobe!), so smart, so innocent (a very rare quality these days, hope he'll never change in 10 years time and breaks women's heart!) Anyhow, but putting up teaching materials together is just, well, i'm just such a lazy bum. Moreover, after i've got myself to do business together wif my darling , i've just realised i've set myself up for more workloads. Paperwork kinda workloads that is. Damn. I love love love the adrenaline rush that comes from meeting clients and set up some presentations, but doing the follow-ups and the waiting phase are just really testing me. Oh well, i cant complaint, afterall i'm grateful that i got some stuff to do, that way i wont be dead because of boredom.


Well, It's friday night and the match of the day is Germany versus Argentia. A magnificent game to watch, that is for my boyfriend, not me. You know what, after almost three long enduring weeks of the soccer season, i think my boyfriend is more in love and more interested in del pierro, ronaldino, ronaldo, romeo, don juan, or whoever! than me. I'm just being a normal woman here, a selfish normal woman that is, who is entitled to the freedom of speech in this relationship if she is being abandoned. I deserve to be loved more than some kicking ball games. Well fellow ladies, if the same thing happens to you, you got to do what you got to do. here's what i say: he loves the game, i love "THE GAME". Some guys are just needed to be kicked on the back for not knowing his priority's right. Let me tell you the rule of "the game": IF you cannot join the enemy, BEAT THEM!. if he's busy doin his thing, guess what, I'll be busier doing my thing and i have no time to listen to who's better del piero or another del italiano!


I've just watched a newly purchased DVD of basic instict2. I was a huge fan of the original version: i think catherine Tramell has the sexiest organ of a human body, that every woman needs enlargement of. You know, the bigger the better *no, my blog is rated PG, nothing is needed to be censored*. by all means my friends, it is the brain. However, i was so disappointed to find that the sequel is not good, in fact it is not good at all. I mean, sharon stone is sexy and all that, but the character should be played by someone half her age.


Are you still reading? Still want to read about more complaints? haha, i'll sum it up! It's good to be a woman because we are allowed to bitch about stuff then just blame it on the monthly PMS. Of course i'm not making things up, by this shall all men know, that women, we just cant help being emotional, being too sensitive, too melancholy when it comes to "that time of the month". We cannot explain the science of

"I just need to eat more chocolate, hellow, it's the PMS",
"I'm so stressed out i need to buy that pair of shoes, ou and that pair too! what boros? PMS! D'oh",
"Of course i gain weight. PMS darling!", "What pimple? PMS darling",
"How come you dont love me so much anymore? What? too sensitive? well, again, it's the PMS"

So my fellow XY gene carriers, just beware and of course be patient. If you endure it just a little bit longer, you'll get through it. *My fellow ladies, dont we just wish that our PMS days will last a little bit longer* (Translated: "Are you still on PMS, darling?", "uh-huh, masi lama ko say, baru juga mulai")

There' i have let all the negative energy out. Feeling good, feeling yummy!. Now where's my fone? I want to hear some updates on del italiano and del argentino. What? Did i just say i dont want to call that man? Ou, i've changed my mind. It's PMS, you know. We are allowed to change our mind every minute. I repeat, every minute.

me versus sherlock holmes

Not trying to have a battle in investigation against him or somthing like that. Lately, i've been so infatuated by the character of holmes, the original version created by doyle of course. I'd been reading numbers of thick novels for hours non-stop, and i cant put the book down, well only for caffeine refill though. I've read agatha christie and all, but to me monsieur poirot aint got nothing in comparison to the detective from baker street himself.

So, i'm just being me, you know, when there is a legend in history whom i like, real or unreal, i'd be starting to draw similarities or common interest between the person and me. Very Pathetic i know. I was very happy when i know jackie O's daugther name is caroline and that she loves literature and history. I am a true fan of dee lestari and i am shocked in awe when finding the fact that she is a coffee addict herself (come one! why would she write a book about coffee) Anyway, since i could not find a similarity between me and the gentleman, then i'll go against him. Well, here's the reverse of the saying: If you cannot join the enemy, beat them! hehe

Sherlock Holmes Versus Me

1. Knowledge of Literature.—Nil.Versus Distinctive
   
2. Knowledge of Philosophy.—Nil.Versus Profound
   
3. Knowledge of Astronomy.—Nil.Versus Nil (does zodiaz knowledge count)
   
4. Knowledge of Politics.—Feeble.Versus Average-ish
   
5. Knowledge of Botany.—Variable. Well up in belladonna, opium, and poisons generally. Knows nothing of practical gardening. Versus Nil (well, i know some flowers' name though)
   
6. Knowledge of Geology.—Practical, but limited. Tells at a glance different soils from each other. After walks, has shown me splashes upon his trousers, and told me by their colour and consistence in what part of London he had received them.Versus Nil
   
7. Knowledge of Chemistry.—Profound.versus Nil
   
8. Knowledge of Anatomy.—Accurate, but unsystematic versus Nil
   
9. Plays the violin well versus plays computer very well (haha? apa sih?)
   
10. Is an expert singlestick player, boxer, and swordsman.versus is an expert in fashion, public speaking and performing arts
    
11. Has a good practical knowledge of British law. versus has a good practical knowledge of history, language and business ethics.
    
12. Never been involve romantically with women "the motives of women... so inscrutable... How can you build on such quicksand? Their most trivial actions may mean volumes... their most extraordinary conduct may depend upon a hairpin. versus well, you know me
13. is an opium addict versus a caffeine addict
14. is a good actor versus a very good one

There you go, the battle of the sexes, in which i'm pretty sure is won by mr holmes. Anyhow, i'm so fascinated by his intelligence and coldness. Would such character exist in reality?

Scrappiezz..

It all began last week, to be precise it all takes place in jakarta, you know, the fever that every gurl in a relationship has to take in, forcefully. Uh-huh, the soccer fever is what i am referring to. Candidly i say, i aint a big fan of the sport myself, i dont even understand how does it all work, what makes someone a good player, the strategies, the different names of the kick, the rules (why does a guy keep getting a yellow card? how come at one time player fall the opponent get a free kick and the other times he does not?) too confusing. But again and again, when the world cup season starts and i happen to be involved with a male species at that particular time being, i found myself being forced (in a very sweet manner, of course) to watch every match religiously, every night. So lately, that has been my routine in the end of a day: Come home, Make myself a tall glass of capuccino, turn sctv on, call my baby and we watch the matches til 3 or 4.

Well, as i mentioned before, gurls we dont need to understand the game, how the "fur 3/4, menang 1/2" work or whatsoever going on in the game. All i know is i gladly participate in screaming marathon all the way throughout the game, that is when the ball is coming near to the goalie. Well, one perk that i got from watching countless seasons is sightseeing a bunch of damn-sexy-european-and-latino-lookin-hunks. It is much better than watching fashion tv. Come one gurls, what's not to love about a man who looks good in the street and kick ass in the field. I mean, i just have a new favourite, the mexico team, that really is my cup of tea. I hope they make it to the next round though haha.

And well, my fellow taken ladies, may i share a testimonial or two? At first i am so annoyed by the fact that my baby is so addicted to the game, that it becomes his daily bread. But after a while i got into thinking, hey if the game can keep him at home, even on friday and saturday night, man i got to persuade him to love the world cup even more. And you know what, once again, eventhough i dont get what is so seru about the game, i really enjoy the routine that we share together, listening to that guy making silly comments (he's a very terrible commentator!) singing off tune, teriak2 every 2 minutes, pointing out the outfits and rambut bakmie of the african players, i found myself paying more attention and laughing at him other than the games. Call me hopeless romantic, as a matter of fact i am, but it's ordinary small things as such that will bond you even closer huh?

So, seize the moments and endure the seasons while it still lasts my friends. ciao.

you cannot live, unless you are an addict.

I just got back from a long weekend in Jakarta, and a couple of days of staying in a fast paced city got me into thinking: how fast every single day goes by. I actually don’t have anything particular to do in purpose, but I found myself always actually be doing something while I was there.

There was always something to do, some places to go to, some people to meet, some events that I can participate in, there always are things to keep you occupied. No wonder the days feel to be rolling very quickly, and the thing is, it makes me go insane. We always have to stay alert, we always have to do something, we always on the go, the brain doesn’t pause for a sec, cannot stop to breathe, can’t chill and damn I cant even tidur siang for Gucci sake!

Pardon me for living in Perth half of my life and Bandung for the other half; I don’t get to become a metropolitan kinda chick. As much as I love the gurls in sex and the city, in reality, I am more of the wisteria lane kinda gurl.

Anyhow, every now and then, I wouldn’t mind becoming a temporary resident of a city that never sleeps. So yes, living in Jakarta for me means changing my outfit three to four times a day (no, I don’t count the pjamas and baju rumah) This whole changing outfit slash changing looks phenomenon is intensified by the fact that my darling is a true social butterfly. In accompanying him for meeting numerous people in a day, he demanded me to be polished and dressed in high key, and the thing with guys, they want the ladies to look good but don’t want to wait for us to do the deeds (you know, blow-drying, make-up session and all) so I did most of my make up time in the car. Owyeah, I’m fully trained to do that, at night or noon, in jalan tol or in parking spots, whether the car is moving in 80k or going through bumpy road, I still can draw a straight line with my eyeliner.

Anyway, I cannot help but wonder: how on earth do people manage to stay sane while living a lifestyle in a city so hectic? There was one day, my baby and I had to go around 3 basement level to look for a parking spot for 10 minutes. The parking spaces are so huge, but all spaces are occupied, going round and round in a closed space looking at cars that are parked so close to each other, it almost makes me explodes. Why is this city so frenetic, so chaotic? How do Jakarta people manage to live everyday? Do they just forcing themselves to get used it? Ain’t them realizing what’s going on around them, the clutter, the lack of air to breathe, the thousand of unfamiliar faces who live in the same building, the feeling of insignificance and hideous being in a large crowd, yet very fragile to danger?

Last night, at 12 am while sitting in the 46th floor of bni 46 building, sipping my third glass of shiraz, i got the answer. In my personal observation, i think people manage to stay in-sync because they have an addiction that keeps them alive. Some people are addicted to substance like drugs and alcohol, some highly tolerated addiction in the big city are the addictions to clubbing and smoking, some less harmful yet dangerous addiction are addiction to shopping and intense socialisation, some hidden yet killer addiction are addiction to work and the three letter word starts with the letter s.

An old friend once told me, how could he manage to quit smoking because it is the only cure that works to mend the stress of the day. He knows that smoking is not good, but he rather suffers lung cancer in 15 years time rather than not having anything to do when he comes home to an empty house. Addiction is the place where people can flee from reality, it's like a resting place, at least for a while. But after i think about it, it's not only those who live in big cities, not only those who want to flee from chaos who need addiction, those who want to flee from boredom also do addictive behaviour. I mean, who doesnt have addiction these days?

I am fully aware of the fact that i myself am having an addiction that i cannot, and dont want to let go. I'm fully recovered from my compulsive shopping behaviour since i my parents decided it's time for me to pay my own credit card bills *sigh* but with this addiction to caffeine. damn. i dont know what to do to quit? i've tried everything that i knew to help me stop, but in the end i am just doomed to fail. but yeah, my baby has decided that he will live with that.

Anyhow, i think i wrote too much, so i better put this to an end. Bottom line, there is one addiction that i know is good for you physically, emotionally and spiritually. The more you are addicted to it, the better your life will become both in short and long term. It's the addiction for JC. Go and get addicted.

raising awareness

may be one day i will learn

may be one day i will understand
may be one day i will get the slap that i need
may be one day i will wake up and all of these will be just a dream

or may be i dont want to learn
or may be i dont even want to know what i do wrong
or may be i've been slapped but i dont mind at all
or may be i secretly wish that what happens is not just a dream

may be i should have known better
may be i should not even consider to make the first step
may be i should think before i decide to fall
may be i should not be knowing you at all

or may be i keep repeating the same mistake again
or may be i have tried to avoid it, but the harder i try the deeper i fall
or may be it happens unconsiously at the back of my mind
or may be there isn't anything i could do because fate brought us together

Do you believe in soul mate?
Do you believe that people are destinied to meet?
Do you believe in love at first sight?
Do you believe in true love?

No, but all i know is i feel pain when he is afar
No, but all i know is he is everything that i've ever dreamt of
No, but i feel like i've known him for years eventhough we've only met once
No, but all i know, i've never loved anybody else like i love him.

the encounter

"i'm not interested"
"i know you are. but please, do it for me. just meet him once, and after that you dont have to do it anymore"
"Just tell him i'm taken"
"He knows that you are not."
"Why are you insisting? looks like you owe him your life."
"Want an honest truth? i owe him my life."
"Who is he? the godfather or something?"
"He is, the kryptonite"
"the what?"

"Hey sweetheart, i'm outside. bisa keluar sekarang?"
sweetheart? who the hell do you think you are?
we've never met, we dont even know each other
I opened the door and there he was
standing three footsteps away from me

he stares deeply into my eyes
for another second too long
"you are much more beautiful than what i've heard"
sweet-talker!
"I bought you something"
then he presents a statue of an angel
"that's unusual. i thought i will get red roses or chocolate"
"I'm not generic. an angel for an angel"
"Arent you something. thank you"

The place, ahh the place,
i was shocked.
he drove into a university parking area.
"I thought we are going to have dinner"
"yes we are"
"In a university?"
"I bet no men have ever taken you to a university for dinner, right?"
"Yeah. i forgot. you are not generic."


the time is 8 pm
"You have to be very quiet, or else the security guard will catch you"
"What? i'm not setting myself for anything illegal. Are we breaking down something?"
"Haha. i really am dating an angel. come on. it will be fun"
"and i just agreed to a dinner invitation by the devil himself"
"Are you in or are you out?"

i've never done anything quite like this in my entire life.
I wouldnt dare
But there is something captivating and thrilling about the guy that i cannot turn down
Before i make up my mind whether to quit or continue,
he takes me by the hand and says,

"Nobody says no to me"

We entered an empty lecture theatre
through the back door, then a side window
he went upstairs to turn on the light and the overhead projector

"I feel like a thief"
"Owyeah. this is entrapment, angel"

He's coming downstairs,
with a box of pizza and a bottle of white wine
"You got to be kidding. haha. Are you sure we're not gonna be caught?"

"shh. The movie is going to start soon?"
"What? You want us to watch movie in a lecture theatre. Can you use the equpment and projector? Hey, this is a crime"
"Hey it's the notebook, angel. Your favourite"
"for gucci sake, how do you know?"
" i know much about you than you thought i do"

"Have we ever met before?"
"In a lifetyme before, yes. we were lovers. and now, we reincarnate to find each other again"
"haha easy there, romeo."
"I believe you are starving by now, and i believe the meat lovers with extra toppings and bbq sauce is an offer that you cannot refuse"
"Okay. This is getting scary. how do you know that?
"Google.com. haha i also happen to know that you have 5 angel statutes in your bedroom, you like the colour of white, your shoe size is six and a half, and your favourite singer is sade"
"and i have not even tell you my name yet, but i guess you've known from google"
"No. I want to call you angel"
"and how shall i call thee?"
"if you want to call me the devil, that sounds ok. or else you can call me brad pitt or whatever. just remember, my last name. My last name is kryptonite"

one box of pizza is all he needs to impress me
one movie marathon is all he needs to sweep me off my feet
one glass of white is all he needs to charm me
one thrilling experience is all he needs to make me wanting more
one manipulative conversation is all he needs to screw my brain
one smile is all he needs to spare my sould
one kryptonite is all it takes to break my heart, eventually.