Friday, April 15, 2005

a changed you?

Apparently i have been receiving many "congratulations" and tagihan makan2 from everyone in past couple of weeks. Well, thankz guys!

these people were quite surprised wif the unexpected quite unbelievable change of status of their complicated little fren, me.

well, here i am making a confession, especially to my frens yang belon gw kasi tau, it's official buddy, i'm in a relationship.phew, even saying the word "relationship" feels weird to me, afterall it's been quite a while since my last relationship kinda relationship (huh?), and to be honest, i am not a relationship person myself. So what the hew am i doing here?It is funny because all of my close frens, who know me well enuf are shocked wif da decisions tat i make. Following the "awwww congratulations" *hugs* "who's the lucky bastard?" *yesh u, lucky bastard!! :)*, come the coments such as:
"loe beneran jadian neh?"
"Tumben amat yang kali inih cepet abis"
"it is soooo not you!"
"yang kali inih maen2 ato seriusan?"
"I thought u are a commitment phobia?"
"I thought u are going back for gut in 3 mths tyme?"
well...the answer is "YES!" to all of the above.
Hmphw..
actually, relationship is such a complicated matter for me. I demand so many things, many unecessary selfish things, both from my partner and from the relationship. he has to fit my social circle, be in alignment with my future ambition, shares the same lyfestyle as me, his IQ must have been almost genius, he has to wear diesel clothing and go to fitness first 3 times a week. i am in favour of long term "pedekate" or "probation period" in order to make sure that the prospected guy fullfil all the criterias above. maaphhh laaahhh emang rada ga kira2..cman tat's just the way my brain works automatically.
but somehow, magically saying, tis guy jus came into my lyfe tanpa permisi and intrude my solar system hehehe i've told my gurlfrens dari pertama gw deket ma ni orang, "i feel sumtink different, i think i can make it work wif tis person" and it does truly work hehehe i dun know what does this guy do to change my attitude towards relationship, it just tat his personalities balance out mine somehow and it turns out that with him, relationship is not as complicated as i have olweis pictured it to be, everything just falls in places automatically.
well, dont get me wrong here. It's not that he said yes to everything tat i want, it is totally the opposite. I must admit tat i am a stubborn and very demanding person. I USED TO THINK wat sort of person tat would be able to tame me, probably i need a super sabar kinda person?! guess i'm wrong. This ga kalah keras kepala, complicated, super thinker boyfren of mine is actually the type of person tat i need. I JUST DONT GET IT how two heads (bedegong heads) tat have different principles about lyfe and relationship, have different common interests, different beliefs could be together? but tat happens to us hahaha
has tat ever happen to u? u wonder how could i like tis person? so unlikely for us to be together? it is not opposite attract because our personalities are so similar, yet we do like and believe in different things in life. we olweis have this theory that we a chance of a relationship to fail if we dont have things in common is larger, rite? He doesnt like everything tat i like. He doesnt like shopping at all, fitness or music at all, he even has different taste in food and the term "beautiful" wif me. wat can we do together then? MOREOVER, his principles on lyfe and relationships are so different to mine too. His perpective on commitment, cheating, quality tyme, passion, intimacy, depth, trust, future and everything are totally the opposite to my principle. Then where are we going to bring this relationship to? we always argue on everthing, to make the matter harder, this guy pinter ngomong lagih, orangnnya licik and knows how to play with people's psychology. *talking about challenge, bebeh maria? try my boyfren hahahaha"
but yea, my frens who know the detail of our arguments said that this is totally the kind of guy for me. I think we are attracted to each other ambition and selfishness, those are our only common ground. but hey, eventhough both of us are very demanding and ngotot, open communication olweis save us in the end. one good trait that he posseses is tat he wants anwers and explanations for everything that he is not so sure of in our relationship. And i cannot answer "ga tau". It has to be "yes" or "no", then "why?" MAN!! at first i was so uncomfortable. Why do i have to tell him the REAL REASON for my conduct. Come on, admit it gurls, we olwes have alesan yang tidak bisa dikatakan behind our "no" and silent treatment rite, the ones that we are too gengsi to say, and wish he will figure it out himself. Uh-huh, doesnt work with tis guy! so yeah, biarpun relationship kta agak intense tp it goes very well. justru intensity inih yg bring depth and quality to our relationship.
Funnily enuf, we've been out in a group couple of tymes, and emang gw ama dia kalo mau beradu pendapat or showing affection (sejauh hugging doang xen, nothing more involved, well not in public *wink*) memang dimana ajah..so we've got random comments from ppl...sum ppl tat we've just only met once said tat we look like a couple tat has been together for years, my close frens are surprised tat i could be so comfortable in a relationship *i used to be jaim and not showing tat i'm an item if i'm in public* , even he and i think tat chemistry is going on between us even though kta baru sebentar deketnya ehehehe so, consciously rationally speaking, things are going good between us, except that kta jadi MENGHILANG dari peredaran, males sekolah en ngumpul ma temen2, maunya bobogohan ajah *tat's normal ya*......well, MAAPHHH frens, give me another month bwat honey moon, and i'll be back, PROMISE *wink*

3 comments:

Rika said...

okeii....rite....i wish you all the best deary =)

kezia*anastasia said...

hey gurl... u betrayed the two valentines we had!! hahaha.. nah... i'm so happy for you ajah.. ^_^

bikin ngiri euyyyyyyyyyyyyyy....

the amethyst said...

izzo, thx for the comments, nice knowing u though :)i've been checking u blog too..kewl :)haahha u can introduce ur friend to me..who knows?!?! hahaha nah..jus kidding..*wink*

rickaa...miss u gurl...how are ya doin!!

kezia..biarlahh cerita kta menjadi kenangann indahh...*sigh* love u gurl!!