the sequel, page one

here's the first posting this year, i have forgotten to do this blog until someone recently msg me in friendster telling me that he does like to read my blog (yes, thank chris! it was you haha. )

the blog was jammin on me somehow, so i cud not write and do posting, but that's okay, i told anyone that my mood in the last 30 days was crap. My mood in the previous 30 before that was even a bigger crap. (what the hew am i talking about? new year and worse grammar) So yeap, it's a good thing that i did not post many writings lately, otherwise pastor D will kill me when he reads them.

Anyhow, there is nothing much that i cud do regarding the crappy mood in past 2 months. Bad things happen to normal people, Very very bad things could happen and there is nothing that you can do to prevent them for happening. Yes, i've told my inner circle, whom i have met in person (international girlfriends, i'll tell you later when we meet) about the very very very very bad things that happened to me and my friends do agree that anyone who has to go through such suffering is allowed to weep and grief.

But hey, as i said in my previous posting, no matter how stormy our lives can be, if we are eager to hold on long enough, God will indeed show that HE is faithful. I am testifying to that! if there is anyone who can be so terpuruk, terpelosok, terjeblos to the deepest mess and terjepit, tertimpa the biggest rock ever at the same time, that person is me two months ago. All i am saying is, if you lost everything that you hold dear to your heart, everything that gives you security and a sense of belonging, everything that matters in terms of surviving life in this world , is taken away from you. That really is the time when your heart is tested. That is the time when your characters, your faith, and your mentality are tested.

When there is nothing left, what do you have left?

When everything that you have fought for is lost, do you still have the courage to start all over again from zero?

When what you know you have is no longer yours, how certain are you about the future?

I almost pass the line of sanity and literally going insane.
Thank God, thank God that i have JC in my life. OTherwise i would have killed myself long time ago. Yes, all of unbelievers out there, here this gurlfriend preach today! This is not an airy fairy religion thing. Knowing God is having a rope that you can grap and prevent you from drawning.

And miraculously, in the blink of an eye, i did not know how and why, but everything seems to take care of themselves. It was not as hard as i imagine. I'm through it without even realising it. and today, i am standing in a better place before the storm. I have an even better life before it was all taken away from me. Just yesterday i was sitting and thinking, being in awe of what God has done in my life.

Everything, all the bad things had to happen so that He could give a better thing for me in the end. IF The bad thing did not take place, i would not have all the good things that i am enjoying at the moment.

So yes, here's my bottom line, here's what's niu with me this year:
i am moving to jakarta
i become a director of an international company
my short term goal is to be promoted for this exec job in manhattan,
the job that charlotte york is having (aaw!)

All of you who has known me must have known that i am dying to live in new york and know what, i am on my way to make my dream come true :)

ah.. yes and i'm single.
someone has thrown me back into the game
dont blame me, it aint my choice. (haha!) i was ready to settle down!
shame on me, the antagonist side is released out of shell
now, where's that little black book of mine?